Something Different
by cupcakedino13
Summary: What would happen if Eli and Fitz switched roles? Clare was protected by Fitz and Eli got blamed for everything. Can Clare and Fitz have a relationship from it or do other obstacles stand in their way? ClareXFitz
1. Understanding

**I love Degrassi and the whole new season. I just wish they would have changed some things. So I have decided to change them myself! This is strictly a Clare/Fitz fic. I think they are so cute together, and for the Eli/Clare fans please don't hate me. I am all for that pairing, but I still like this one. Please review if you guys actually like this!**

I stared at him, horrified and disgusted. He tried to pin the whole ordeal on me, but I wasn't having any of it.

"Eli, I can't even look at you." I said while shaking my head. I had to have known he would try something on Fitz, but I didn't think he would slip something in his drink.

"Clare." He said and stuck his hand out, as if waiting for me to jump all over him. Like he was my hero. The look on his face said it all: He wasn't even sorry for making Fitz look a fool, he was proud.

I shook my head, "You really don't deserve me." I slipped out of the gym, in between the throngs of overly dressed party goers. Ali was no where in sight, and neither was Adam.

Walking into the hall, the only people that were there were the over sexual couples, groping each other as if this was there last minute. Around the corner, I knew, was Fitz locker.

He stood there, his jacket off and his head in his locker. I practically sprinted to his side. "Are you ok? I'm so sorry about all that. I had no idea he was going to do that."

"Really?" Fitz turned to me and slammed his locker, making me jump. "You could have been in on it too."

I shook my head, "I'm not one for violence. And I am truly sorry for what Eli did." And I was. This whole feud blew way out of porportion, and someone was going to get hurt.

"But he's not. It's about time your boyfriend leanred his lesson." Fitz said, his fists clenching as he talked. I could almost feel the anger pouring out of him.

"Please can't we just go back to the dance and pretend like nothing ever happened?" I almost begged and touched his arm. He crossed his arms, letting my hand fall to my side.

"I can't just pretend like nothing ever happened. The asshole deserves what's coming to him." Fitz said, obviously still pissed. He put his hands behind him, fumbling around. Then only a click could be heard in the empty halls.

"What was that?" I asked. I tired to lean around his body to get a glimpse of what he was holding.

"It's time to get revenge on your little boyfriend." He brought his arm around, the knife glimmering in the dim hall light.

"Fitz please don't do this!" The tears came to my eyes and I grabbed his arm roughly, not caring if he would pull it away.

"Why? He sent me to jail. If it wasn't me it was only a matter of time before he was going to hurt you." Fitz said. He back me up into the lockers, waving his finger at me like I did something wrong.

"Eli wouldn't hurt me. He really likes me." I said quietly. My voice suddenly slipping away as the fear of what's happening sets in.

"He's been feeding you some bull shit." Fitz spat. He backed away from me and stared down the hall, smirking.

That's when I realised that he was so close to me, anyone would have thought we were kissing. And that's when I also realised, Fitz was smirking at Eli, who thought we were kissing.

"Eli you need to leave." I ran towards him but stopped when he shook his head.

"Unless this is some sort of plan you have going on, have fun sleeping with the enemy." Eli turned away, leaving me standing there with a laughing Fitz.


	2. Heart To Heart

**I realize some of you might hate me for what's going to happen in the next few chapters. It's just going to have to be that way. I would like to thank you for the reviews, keep 'em comin'! **

I slumped against the lockers. Suddenly, all the energy was drained out of me. I couldn't even run after Eli, or go find Adam. My skin felt so hot, and not even the cool tiles beneath me felt good.

Even though my eyes were shut, I could picture Fitz's face right now. The satisfaction that he won, and knowing that Eli did hurt me. He slid down next to me, his arm cool on mine.

I wouldn't let him see me cry. After all the maturing I did after KC, I still couldn't believe I fell for a guy who wouldn't listen to my side of the story.

"I know this probably won't help, but I didn't mean for that to happen." Fitz said. He might have felt sorry for what just happened, but it still didn't change the fact that it did happen.

"But it did. And we weren't even doing anything. I was being told exactly what was going to happen. I should have known." I shook my head, trying to dry out the tears in my eyes.

What happened next shocked me. Fitz scooted closer to me, if possible and put his arm around me. My head fell onto his shoulder and our legs slid next to each other.

"If you want to cry I won't think any less of you." He admitted. It was odd to see Fitz being so nice and kind, especially after what happened between him and Eli. But maybe he realised he won. He broke us up,stole the girl and ended Eli's trust in me forever.

"I just can't believe he thought we were making out." I said, shocked and somewhat disgusted.

He lifted his arm off my shoulder and crossed them over his chest. "You say that like it's a bad thing. You never know I could be really good at it."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." I said and sunk lower to the ground. I was sweating from being so angry and hot. My hands felt clammy and cold. I could barely breath, a panic attack setting in. "It's like I can't do anything right for anyone." I broke down and cried, right in front of Fitz, I cried harder than I ever have before.

Fitz grabbed my arm and tugged me closer to him. My head fell into his chest, dampening his shirt with my tears. He put his arm around me and held me tight, like I was his girlfriend.

"I didn't want you to get hurt like this. I just wanted for you to hurt him." Fitz said softly. This was not the Fitz I was used too. What had happened in the last hour that made him have a change of heart? The old Fitz would have laughed in my face and walked away from me.

I brought my head up to look at him, to see if he was laughing or being serious. He was serious. "Were you planning on me breaking up with him for you? That was your great revenge?" My voice rose and my fists clenched. I pushed him away from me, he was no different than Eli.

"I didn't know you were going to get hurt Clare." He said, his hands running through his hair with a sigh.

This outraged me. I stood up and was ready to scream, yell, throw a fit. I didn't care. This was beyond ridiculous. "How could you say that? This was just some stupid war that I got hurt in. Your fine, yes he's hurt but he'll bounce back." I yelled, my arms flying everywhere.

Fitz stood up and grabbed my arms tightly, trying to calm me down. "This wasn't about stupid revenge. I like you Clare. That's why I asked you to the dance." His thumbs started rubbing the goosebumps that formed on my arms. I didn't know if I was cold or if what he said did it but something changed inside me.

I walked closer to him and let him wrap his arms around me. This was deffinetly not the Fitz I was used to.

I kept my arms at my sides, not wanting to lead him on. I still had very strong feelings for Eli, and felt hardly anything for Fitz. He was like a rebound right now, someone to help me along the way.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts I didn't feel Fitz tense up. His muscles spasmed and he released his hold on me. Before I could turn around and find out what Fitz was worked up about, a voice spoke.

"I didn't know you would move on so fast."

It was Eli.


	3. Guilty

**Hi guys how ya doin? I'm great. I really enjoy writing this and I hope you enjoy reading this. And I'm really not sure where I'm going with this story but I do have a Flare one-shot in mind. Please review!**

Fitz grabbed my hands and pulled me behind him. It was then that I saw something Eli was holding, something heavy and cold.

"Eli, what are you doing?" I said slowly. I was scared. It wasn't like before when Fitz had a knife, my life wasn't in danger then. But now, with a gun and our lives in danger, everythings different.

"I can't believe you would do this to me Clare. After Julia, you were the only one I tried with. You seemed," He stopped talking and looked around, "Important." He looked straight at me, making sure I felt his pain.

"But Eli I didn't do anything." I said while stepping around Fitz. "If it wasn't for the both of you, we wouldn't be in this mess." I looked from Eli to Fitz, letting him know he wasn't off the hook.

"It doesn't matter Clare. We all know something bad would have happened tonight, but I never thought you would have gone after him." Eli shook his head, as if shaking all the bad thoughts out of it. He brought his hand around the front of him, and took three steps closer.

"Eli please. Let's just go ok?" I walked closer to him and felt Fitz tense up. He grabbed my hand but I pulled back. It was best for all of us.

"No!" Eli yelled, his voice echoing the halls. "This is going to end. Now."

My eyes were the size of saucers by the time Fitz reached me and pulled me to him. I didn't struggle and just let him help me. This was it. All because of some stupid feud I was going to get hurt by the person I thought was the guy.

I heard a click and realised Fitz pulled his knife out. His hand was still in mine, which really wasn't helping the situation.

Eli glanced down at our hands and closed his eyes. I knew it was killing him, but he wouldn't even listen to my side. He stepped closer and Fitz pushed me backwards. The glass doors were closing in behind us, and there wouldn't be anywhere to run.

Eli drew the gun up and aimed it right at Fitz. That's when the guilt sunk in my stomach. This was all my fault. I drew in a deep breath and made one last attempt to save everyone's lives.

"Eli just please. This whole thing was a huge mistake." I put my hands up in surrender, hoping it would work.

His arm fell to his side. I sighed, feeling victory for once since this war started. I knew Fitz felt it too because he stepped up to my side and drew me closer. Bad idea.

Eli brought his arm up and pointed the gun to my head. Damnit Fitz.

"I'm sorry Clare." Fitz said quietly. I closed my eyes tight and waited for the pain. I heard the click of the gun and then a voice.

"Eli!" Adam yelled. He ran right up behind Eli followed by two police officers.

"Put the gun down!" One yelled, causing Eli to jump. He pulled the trigger and Fitz pushed me out of the way.

I fell against the glass door behind us and smacked my head. My eyes rolled back and then the pained kicked in. I blinked my eyes to get them to focus, trying to clear out the blue dots that clouded my vision.

I could faintly see Eli being pulled away by the cops and Adam rushing to us, followed by paramedics.

Fitz.

I crawled over to him as Adam reached my side. Blood seeped through his shirt and onto the floor. His arm was shot.

Fitz blinked and looked from Adam to me. I tried to smile through the tears streaming down my face but it was impossible.

Fitz smiled and slid his hand toward mine, grimacing from the pain. "Ahh."

Tha paramedics pushed Adam and I out of the way. It was like Fitz and Eli switched roles. You think you know someone but they can turn around and surprise you. I turned to Adam and he looked as if he was thinking the same exact thing.


	4. Mark

**Hey here's another update. I want to thank you for the reviews. They really do mean a lot. This might be the last update for a while since school and work is coming up soon. But I will try my hardest to get it out for you. Thanks! And please review!**

Simpson said things were going to change. The whole break my stomach twisted in knots whenever I thought of these new changes.

After the paramedics had carried Fitz away at Vegas Night and put Eli into the cop car, Holly J and Sav got busted for being a little too 'nice' in one of the classrooms. Simpson was so dissappointed in all of us, he just decided this wasn't going to be the same school it was before.

I went to visit Fitz in the hospital over break. He kept making the nurses call my home until I went to visit him.

Seeing him lying in the hospital brought back all those horrid memories. I had never felt so guilty in my life. He was strapped up to so many machines, with needles in his arm and hand. He looked so excited to see me when I stepped in the room. He scooted up on the bed and patted the seat next to him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked when I sat down next to him. His arm was bandaged up but covered by the ugly hospital gown.

"I'm great. I don't feel anything and I can't stop talking from all the drugs they gave me." Fitz said over enthusiastically. They really did give him alot of morphine.

I giggled. "So is your mom mad or anything?"

Fitz shook his head, "She really doesn't care. As long as I'm still breathing she could care less." He talked about the problems with his mom as if he were talking about the weather, as if it really were nothing.

"Oh god, Fitz I'm sorry." I placed my hand on top of his and he squeezed. The color rose to my cheeks and I grabbed my hand back.

"So when's this court case coming up?" Fitz asked. He bounced up and down, clearly on a high from the morphine.

"In a couple days. I really don't want to go but I was a witness and so wasn't Adam and you." I said with hurt in my voice. I felt betrayed, but so, so guilty. I never should have gone with Fitz, and Eli would still be my boyfriend, and Fitz and Eli would not be talking. I should be home talking to Eli on the phone, laughing about all the crazy things that happened at the dance, instead of sitting here next to Fitz talking about what Eli had done.

"Oh yeah those cops came in and talked to me. They said it was a good thing you and Adam saw or else I'd be going to jail too. Nooooo ideo why." He drew out the 'no' a little longer than needed. His eyes began to close but then opened, scared that I might take this as my chance to leave.

"I should let you sleep." I started to get up but he grabbed my hand. "Fitz you need some sleep." I pulled my hand again, but he wasn't taking no for an answer.

Without letting go of my hand, he scooted over on the bed and patted the spot next to him. "Can't you just stay for a little bit?" He gave me a puppy dog face, something I thought Fitz was incapable of.

I sighed, there really wasn't any way of getting out of this. "Maybe just for a little bit."

Fitz smiled and almost dragged me to the bed. I slowly sat next to him, not really knowing what to do.

"Lay." He turned to his side cautiously as I slid down farther. I tensed when he put his arm around my waist. "And call me Mark."


	5. Chance

**Yeah I'm such a liar. I love updating. But more comments help with the inspiration. And if you do have any ideas for upcoming chapters, I can possibly fit them into it somewhere. I have a lot of chapters wrote up but I like new ideas. So please review, and thanks for reading!**

It's been two days since Fitz got out of the hospital, and it's the day before the court hearing. I was not looking forward to it.

I was home, and have been since the last time I seen Fitz. I wouldn't call him Mark, even if I was talking to him. The kitchen was bare. Not even dad's work papers were scattered on it. I haven't even talked to my mom about that whole mess, she's been so worried about me and my health she hasn't taken very good care of herself.

The doorbell rang, but I didn't want to answer it. I didn't want to talk to the cops or Alli. I just didn't want to do anything.

"Clare? Someone's at the door for you." Mom called from the hall. She must have rushed to the door thinking it was some nice thing dad did for her.

I sighed and stood up. It was almost noon and I wasn't even out of my pajamas. By the time I saw who was at the door, I suddenly wished I had changed into something decent. Not because I felt like a scum bag, but my short shorts and silky tank were a bit too revealing.

"Hey!" Fitz said, was he still coming off the morphine? His black tee covered his bandage and his blue jeans looked like they hadn't been washed. His hair was a mess, but at least looked clean.

"Um hi." I turned around, making sure my mom wasn't watching me like a hawk, and stepped outside, closing the door behind me. I crossed my arms over my chest, now noticing I wasn't wearing a bra.

"Oh do you want a jacket? I have one in the car." Fitz pointed behind him. I didn't know he could drive.

I shook my head. "I'm fine. So did you need something?" I didn't think that after what happened at the hospital he'd be still talking to me.

"Well yeah I was hoping we could talk, hang out. Just do something." He shrugged.

I sighed. I didn't mean to lead him on like I did. "Look Fitz-"

"Mark."

I nodded. "Mark, I didn't mean to lead you on like that but-"

"But Eli really screwed you up and you want nothing to do with me." Fitz nodded, as if just realising I was going to hurt him.

"No it's not like that at all." I reached my arm out to him but he moved away.

"Then what is it Clare? Because after what happened I thought maybe it sunk in that I liked you." His voice raised now, but I didn't care. Let my mom listen, she was going to find out the truth any way.

"You know I still have to get over Eli and what happened. I can't just drop all my feelings for him and move onto you because you were there for me!" I began to get angry, a feeling all to familiar lately.

"And you were there for me to which I thought meant you wanted to do this." Fitz get so close when he was talking, I don't think he even realised. He was so close I could feel his breath on my lips.

"I don't know what I want to do anymore Mark. I already got hurt twice and I don't want that happening again." I looked at the ground and rubbed my arm. I wish I had taken that jacket, it was freezing out.

Mark sighed and grabbed my hand, leading me to his car. I was expecting my mother to run out of the house with 911 on speed dial just in case.

He opened the back door and grabbed a jacket, then sliding it onto my shoulders. I put my arms through and grabbed the sleeves in my hands, bringing them to my nose.

"It probably doesn't smell like me since it's been in here a while." He smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

I was so not trying to smell it. Even though it wasn't even close to his spicy scent I discovered at the dance.

"Clare?"

I looked up at him, probably giving him a puppy dog stare. I just felt so vulnerable right then. He stepped closer and it was the weirdest feeling I've ever had, but I actually wanted him to hold me. I smiled when he did.

His embrace was warm and kind, something totally not Fitz. But it was Mark. He had two sides of him, one I was lucky enough to see.

After what seemed like forever he let me go, but moved his hands to mine. "So can we please give this a try?" He was smiling and I knew he wouldn't take no for an answer.

I nodded, "Yeah I guess we can."


	6. Court

**Well, thank you guys for reviewing! And also reading this. I so have writers block on chapter 14 for this story. So if I don't think of anything the updates might not be for a while. Sorry guys but here's another one! Please review!**

I was so not ready for the court hearing today. It just ruined my whole break, even though the thought school starts tomorrow already put a damper on my day.

A knock on my door made me jump and I knocked over the cup of pencils on my desk. I bent down to pick them up, yelling an 'It's open'.

My mother popped through the door. She glanced around my room as if this was her first time seeing it. "So who is picking you up?" She fumbled with one of my necklaces hanging on the wall.

"Mark." I stood up and straightened the cup back on the desk. I went to my closet door and looked at my reflection. Black button shirt with a black skirt, it looks like I'm going to a funeral. But maybe I could bury my feelings for Eli while I was there.

"I don't think that boy is good for you." Mom sat on my bed, smoothing out a few crinkles.

"Yeah well at least he didn't hold a gun to my head. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go wait for Mark." I walked around her and downstairs. This whole thing between her and dad has got me worried. I can't even talk to either of them without getting testy.

Mark was already leaning against his car when I got outside. He was in all black like me, probably ready to bury some strong feelings as well.

His eyes lit up when he saw me. "Hey baby."

I gave him a quick hug, "Hey." After I told him we can try a relationship, I also told him I wasn't ready to go too far and that I wanted to take things slow. He was probably content with just having me.

Mark opened the passenger door for me and helped me in. He hopped into his side and we rode in silence to the courthouse.

By the time we pulled up, there was already a bunch of cops waiting there, along with some local media.

Mark turned to me once we found a parking spot. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He grabbed my hand gently.

"There's really no choice I have. I just had to be there." I waved my arms around but still held his hand. I didn't want to let go.

"They said this wasn't going to take that long. We can be in and out in a hour." Mark said enthusiastically.

"A hour is way to long." I looked down at my black flip flops and wiggled my toes. I knew I had to do this, especially for him. He was shot because of me.

"Clare, I don't blame you for any of it." Mark said. He smiled and caressed my hand with his thumb. I felt so lucky to have him with me. He was there for me when it happened and I had to be there for him now to send Eli away.

I sighed and pulled the visor down, looking at my reflection. I brushed my hair away from my face.

"You don't need to fuss. You look beautiful." He said, his smile getting even bigger. "Well you ready?"

Without waiting for an answer, Mark climbed and and walked to my side, opening my door for me. He helped me out and stood in front of me. He put his hands on my shoulders, "No matter what happens you know I'll be there for you."

I nodded, "I know. Thanks Mark." He pulled me in for a tight hug which seemed to last forever. When he pulled away, I couldn't help myself.

I brought my lips to his soft at first, but he pulled me closer. I was in total bliss. I hated to admit it, but he really was good at this.

I wrapped my arms around my neck as he put his on my hips. His tongue slid across my bottom lip but I didn't open. His hand went to my chin and pulled it open, letting his tongue in my mouth.

I felt him smile when I explored his mouth as he did mine. His hands went to my hair, tugging on it slightly. I pulled back from the kiss, breathing heavy.

Mark was still smiling, his lips red. "Best first kiss ever."

I blushed and ducked my head. Grabbing his hand I said, "We should probably go in."

Mark nodded and held my hand tighter. On our way to the front door of the courthouse, he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "I can't wait until we can do that again."

My blush wouldn't go away by the time we got it. The benches were already packed with people, some from our school who knew us, and Eli's family.

I started breathing heavy when I saw him. He sat with a few lawyers in the front of the room. He wasn't handcuffed or in orange as I expected, but looked clean and tired. I hope this trial killed him with the thought of what happened.

I spotted Adam in the bench right behind Eli. I knew this was killing him as much as it was I. Mark followed me to where Adam was and sat next to me, making me sit in the middle. He noticed our hands entwined and his eyebrow raised.

"Um Adam you know Mark." I pointed to Mark.

"Um yeah remember? I kicked his ass." Adam said with all attitude. In front of us, Eli was listening. He turned his head slightly, maybe to get a better hear of what was going on.

Mark spoke up, "Can we put that behind us? I regret all of what happened this year." He looked sincere and truly sorry. I think the morphine did something to him.

Before Adam could respond, the judge walked out of a little room. He sat on the chair and picked some papers up. I didn't notice I was shaking until Mark pulled my hand to his lap.

"The case of Eli Goldsworthy versus the public. Defendant please call your fist witness." The judge said. He leaned back in his chair, looking rather bored.

One of the lawyers in front of us stood up and turned to the benches. "I would like to call Clare Edwrds to the bench."


	7. Testimony

**Hi! I know it's been a while Sorry about that. I'm pretty stuck on this story at like chapter 14. But I'm trying guys I really am. Please review!**

I stood up, my legs feeling like jello the whole walk to the bench. I sat down on the hard wood chair and crossed my legs. Then uncrossed them and recrossed them.

The lawyer approched me. "State your name please."

"Clare Edwards." I said into the tiny microphone in front of me. I was so nervous. What if they thought this whole thing was my fault and sent me to jail instead of Eli? He was the one who shot Mark, not me.

"Ok Miss Edwards," The guy opened a manilla folder, scanning some documents inside. From behind him, Mark gave me a supporitve smile I could not return.

"Can you please tell everyone in your own words what happened that night?" The lawyer finished. He closed the folder and threw it on the table Eli sat at.

Everything from that night flooded into my head. Every sound and smell, from the gun going off, to how Mark smelled when he was holding me.

"Well Mark asked me to go with him to Vegas Night at the school. He said all he wanted was a sincere apology from Eli and he would leave him and Adam alone-"

"And you agreed?" The lawyer interuppted.

I nodded, "I just wanted everything to go back to normal before Eli and Mark started fighting-"

The lawyer iinteruppted again, "And is it true Mr..." He opened his folder again, scanning for something, "Fitzgeral had a knife in his possesion that night?"

"Well yes be he wasn't going to use it-"

"And what made you think that? He did have intentions of scaring my client. Did it ever occur to you that he only did that to gain your trust?" The lawyer said. He was standing right in front of the bench, pointing to Mark.

"No!" I almost yelled. This guy really knew how to push buttons. I knew Eli was happy I was in this situation. "After Eli had put something in Mark's drink I had gone out to find him. And yes he had a knife, but he put it away after we started talking. He was saying how Eli was going to hurt me." I stopped, thinking the lawyer was going to interupt. He didn't.

I continued, "So I was backed up into the lockers and Mark was talking to me. And then Eli came in, thought I was cheating on him and ran off."

The lawyer nodded, "And that's when you started talking to Mr. Fitzgerald more and more?"

I nodded, "We weren't talking about much. He felt really bad for what happened and it was nice to talk to someone. We hugged and Eli came back with a gun-"

"And did Mr. Fitzgerald still have the knife?"

I nodded, "He only pulled it out in case Eli was going to fight him. It wouldn't have done much good against a gun though."

"Did my client purposely shoot or was he startled?"

I froze. I knew what happened, but if I told the truth, he wouldn't go away. He would be at Degrassi making my life a living hell. But I had to suck it up.

"When Eli brought his arm up, Adam and the two cops rushed in. They started yelling and Eli must have jumped and pulled the trigger. And Mark pushed me out of the way and got hit in the arm."

"Thank you Miss Edwards," The lawyer said and tucked the folder underneath his arm. "That will be all."

I nodded and stood up, walking back over to Adam and Mark. I felt so relieved to be off the stand. I was really waiting for Adam to be called, I wanted to know the story behind that.

Mark was called. He said exactly what I said, but added in the feud between him and Eli. He said how Eli got him arrested and even told them Eli tried to get me to poisen Mark's drink, something I had left out.

He returned to his seat next to me, clearly as nervous as I was. They could pin it all on him, saying it was hit fault Eli had the gun.

Adam was next. This is the one I wanted to hear, I already knew what happened between Eli and Mark.

He sat down and said his name. The lawyer asked a bunch of questions I already knew the answers to.

"And how did you know Eli had a gun? Do you know where it came from?" The lawyer asked.

"Eli came to me after he found Clare and Fitz. He said she cheated and wanted revenge on both of them. He pulled open his jacket and pulled the gun out. I don't know where he found it. But he left after that and I called the cops and told Simpson."

The lawyer nodded and paced in front of Adam, "Simpson's your principal?"

Adam nodded. I had totally forgotten about him. I glanced around and spotted him on the other side toward the back.

"And do you think yelling and screaming when you walked into the hallway was going to help any?" The lawyer was a jerk. What gave him the right to treat us like that?

"I could have just let him shoot Clare cause you know, that would have been so much better." Adam said sarcastically.

The judge slammed the gavel down, "Mr. Torres I sugest you start taking this seriously."

Adam's shoulders lowered and he nodded, waiting for the lawyer to ask another question.

"Do you think Mr. Fitzgerald deserved what he got? You did have a fight with him several times on your own and with my client did you not?" He pointed from Mark to Eli, then looked back to Adam.

"No. He was a jerk to me and Eli but things just blew way out of porportion. Eli took it too far and Fitz payed the price. They both dragged Clare in the middle of it and she got hurt even worse." Adam shrugged. I was silently thanking him for the support. I knew he didn't like me and Mark together but at least he would be nicer to me.

"So you do think if you never showed up when you did, Miss Edwrds and Mr. Fitzgerald would not be here right now?"

Adam nodded, "I think Eli would have hurt Fitz to get revenge for what he thought Clare did to him, yes."

"Thank you Mr. Torres, you may go." The lawyer sat down next to Eli, who still hasn't relaxed the whole time since we arrived.

The judge straightened up in his chair, "15 minutes recess." He banged the gavel down and stood up.

Everyone flooded out of the room. A few stragglers were left, but Adam, Mark and I sat in silence. I really needed these two to get along, for all our sakes.

I slammed my hands on the wood board in front of us, making the guys jump. "So whose hungry? I'm buying!"


	8. Fight

**Hey! Sorry about the long wait but here you go! And please review! I've had the same person (not that I don't appreciate it, because I do) review since like a gazillion chapters ago. But thanks for reading this. And I want to say, if you have ideas for any upcoming chapters, I can possibly fit them in. Thanks!**

The Dot was close enough to walk to. In complete silence we all walked there together, sat down together, and only talked to tell our orders.

The round tables by the windows were the only tables left. The Dot was so full. I knew Adam didn't want to sit by Mark, but being a round table, he was kind of forced to. He sat as far away as possible, making me feel even worse.

When our food came, we all looked at our plates. The tension in the air was suffocating. But finally, Adam broke the silence.

"What do you think is going to happen?" He poured ketchup all over his fries.

I shrugged, "I just hope they don't let him off easy and let him come back to Degrassi." It would be a nightmare if he came back. Even if Adam and Mark hit it off, Eli would go after Adam too.

Mark shook his head, "They won't let him back. If they do, it's for a private tutor. We won't even see him." He grabbed his burger and took a big bite.

"I can't believe this all happened. I always thought you would be the one to hurt Eli, not Eli hurting you." Adam said, pointing to Mark.

"Wow thanks." Mark said. I could tell his other side is coming out, the one I haven't seen much of lately.

"Look dude maybe it was your fault." Adam stood up, his chair squealing and then falling. Everyone turned to look at us.

Mark stood up too. "You want to hit me? You really think that's going to fix all of this?"

I grabbed his arm, "Mark stop."

He turned to me, "Don't call me that!"

Heat rose to my cheeks. I was so embarassed. They were going to fight right here? I stood up, ready to pull Adam out of the Dot.

"Don't yell at her! You don't even deserve her." Adam pushed Mark. "You don't even like her!"

Mark laughed, "So what? You like her? What are you going to do? You can't even fuck her." He got right up in Adam's face. Some of the waiters rushed over but kept there distance.

My jaw dropped when he said that. "Mark come on let's go!" I didn't even care if he yelled at me again. I grabbed his arm, tugging on him.

"That's all you want her for!" Adam retaliated. He pushed Mark again and pushed him into the table behind us.

"Yeah how the fuck would you know?" Mark pushed Adam. "You can't even find a girl. No one wants to be with you. At least I can find someone I actually like and likes me back!" Mark pointed to himself, then flung his arms around wildly.

Adam stepped closer and was inches from Mark's face. "Really? Because she still isn't over Eli. And I don't think she ever will be!" He pushed Mark again.

"Stop!" I screamed. I was tired of sitting on the side and watching, I had to intervene. I pushed Adam away and got right in Marks' face. "This is enough! We have to get back to the courthouse and finish this. Then I never want to see you again." I said with tears in my eyes., but I kept looking at him. I wanted to make sure he knew how much I was hurting.

I walked out of the Dot and heard them follow me. The courthouse was right around the corner, which helped me see what they were doing. Adam was as close to the road as possible, and Mark was almost on top of the buildings trying to keep away from Adam. Maybe it finaly sunk in that I'm hurting.

Finally, we made it to the courthouse. I didn't go sit where we were last time. I didn't want to be near either of them. I sat opposite side in the middle by some old lady that smelled like pee.

Mark sat on the other side in the same bench across from me. Adam sat where he originally was. Finally, the judge returned and took his place.

He glanced at Eli, "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Eli shook his head. Either he really didn't care or he was just so certain it wouldn't help because he remained silent and still.

"Well then Mr. Goldsworthy, you are sentenced to three months juvie. Depending on if your parents plan to stay here or move, you will not return to public school. As it seems, the environment is too much for you to handle. Case dismissed." He slammed the gavel down hard.

Eli's head dropped. Two cops came over and pulled him out of his chair then handcuffed him. They lead him out of the courthouse. The whole time Eli was walking he kept his head down, but his eyes on me, and I could feel Adam's and Mark's on me too.


	9. Make Up

**Do you guys have any harsh criticism? Anything? I've been in such a dump lately I'm sort of expecting that. Anyway, sorry about the rant. But I really do appreciate the comments I've got. And someone (can't remember who) wants some Eclare, but sadly, I'm not their biggest fan. Fitz is hot so that's what I like. So I am very sorry to disappoint you. But here you go, and please review!**

It's tomorrow already. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to go back to school and I sure as hell didn't want to put up with Fitz. Yes, I was calling him Fitz now. He was no longer Mark to me.

I took a deep breath before walking up the Degrassi steps. I slung my bag onto my shoulders and opened the front door. Where was Alli?

I spotted everyone I didn't want to see. Fitz sat on the stairs with his friends, not talking to any of them. I had really hurt him, but he deserved it. He really hadn't changed.

I walked down the hall. Still no Alli, but Adam stood at his locker looking as lost as ever. I know he was just looking out for me but it hurt when they started fighting. Couldn't they have at least gotten along for 15 minutes?

"Clare!"

I turned around, hoping it wasn't Fitz. It was Alli.

She ran up and hugged me, her heels clicking on the marble floor. "Are you ok? I'm so sorry I couldn't go to the court hearing. What's going on with you and Fitz? Tell me everything!" She said in one breath.

"Alli I'm fine. It's ok you couldn't go. And nothing is going on with me and Fitz, everything already happened." I held her elbows as I talked.

"Clare are you serious? You have to tell me how you ended up hooking up with Fitz and him saving your life!" Alli said in that 'duh' voice.

I rolled my eyes, there really wasn't anyway of getting out of this. "I didn't hook up with him." My eyes drifted behind her and landed on Fitz. He was walking with his friends, still sulking and not talking. Alli gave me a questioning look and glanced behind her then made an 'O' with her mouth.

"He ended up being so nice to me and then went back to his old self. He was about to fight Adam and I told both of them to leave me alone. And I'm pretty sure I broke his heart." I shook my head, trying to forget everything that happened.

"Clare why don't you just go talk to him? He sounded like he really liked you. See?" She pointed to where he stood now at the end of the hall, still looking depressed. "He's so upset. He probably won't talk to you because he's scared you won't have anything to do with him."

I groaned, "Why does this have to be so hard?"

Alli shrugged and looped her arm around mine, "Come on Clare. You are going to get him back." She dragged me down the hall next to her and stopped right in front of Fitz.

I stared at the ground. He shoved himself away from the lockers and stood in front of me. Alli nudged me forward then backed off.

"I tried calling you." Fitz said quietly. He was probably ashamed to be talking about this in front of his friends.

"Look Fitz-"

"Mark remember?" The corner of his mouth turned up into a smile.

"Yeah but you got mad at the Dot remember? I don't want to be with a guy who is going to be amazingly sweet one minute and then a complete jerk the next." I grew angrier by the second. This was a joke to him, it had to be.

"No Clare. I am a good guy for you. I was just so mad from all the shit Adam said to me. Clare I really do like you and I don't just want sex." Fitz said and grabbed a hold me, bringing me closer. He held me so tight, putting his head on my shoulder. "Please Clare," He whispered in my ear, giving me goosebumps.

I pulled back, "Will you at least go to Adam and apologize? I'm his only friend right now and he needs me." I gave Fitz the puppy dog look he pulled on me so many days ago.

"Will you forgive me and take me back?" Fitz moved his hands to my arms and pressed our chests together. I could honestly say being that close to his body was unbelievable.

He noticed I liked it too. He pressed our bodies closer, if possible, and dipped his head to my ear. "Please Clare?" He kissed my jaw softly.

"Yes." I breathed out. He pulled back, smiling.

"Thank you Clare, you won't regret this." Fitz pulled me in for a tight hug and kissed me quickly. "Walk you to class?"

I nodded. He grabbed his bag off the floor and then my hand. I turned to walk with him, but not before giving Alli a huge smile. Afterall it was her idea.


	10. Caught

**This one is pretty long. Thanks guys for all the reviews. They really do mean a lot to me. And any ideas and criticism is very much appreciated. Maybe even an ending, I really don't know how I'm going to end this. But, thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!**

I'm pretty sure all the teachers hate me. Fitz has walked me to class every period today and has earned me a nice glare from every teacher. They would shake their heads when he hugged me goodbye. They wouldn't even call on me when I knew the answers.

After english, the last period of the day, Fitz was waiting for me outside of the room. "Hey." He said and gave me a quick kiss.

"Hey, so what are we doing tonight?" I asked, figuring he wanted to hang out.

"I don't know about you but I've got detention." He threw an arm around my shoulders and walked down the hall.

"Um why?" I stopped walking, his arm fell off my shoulders. Fitz turned to me.

"It was stupid shit. Don't worry about it." Fitz grabbed my hand, "Come on, I'll walk you home. Detention doesn't start for another twenty mintues."

I sighed and let him lead me down the hall. Once we were outside I decided to ask him again. "What did you do this time?"

Fitz groaned, "Why can't you ever just drop anything?"

"Oh god is it that bad?" I was now fearing his answer.

"Some people were talking shit about us. I had to set them straight." He grinned as if I'd be proud.

"You know how I feel about violence." We walked down the sidewalk to my house. My toes were suddenly getting cold from the wet slush.

"Yeah but if you heard what I did you'd beat their ass too." Fitz stopped suddenly and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it up.

I sighed and pulled it out of his mouth and stomping it on the ground. His mouth fell wide open. "I thought you didn't do that anymore."

He laughed, "I never said that. And what is your problem anyway?"

I shivered from the cold, the wind suddenly picking up. I shook my head, "Nothing's wrong. So who said what about us?"

"Just stupid people saying stupid shit. Don't worry." He shrugged and went for my hand. "Come on Clare don't do this."

I looked at him, his eyes pleading. I felt so bad for what happened. "I'm sorry I'm just stressing about school and us." I ran my fingers through my hair, grabbing fist fulls.

Fitz took my hands and brought me closer, "Stop Clare. What's so bad about us?"

I buried my head in his shoulder, wishing we could be like this forever. "How long is it going to be before you turn back to the jerk you once were?"

He pushed my back, "So you want me to be a dick? Fine then, I can go back to being a dick to you. And you know what? I don't even have to talk to you." He started heading toward the school and did a little wave, "Have a nice life Clare."

I sighed and slapped my forehead. Fitz was a lot better than Eli ever was, at least he could admit he liked me. What did Eli do? Nothing.

I continued the lonely walk home, not bothering to glance at anything. Everything reminded me of him.

I was practically in tears by the time I reached the front steps of the house. Maybe I did screw things up. Fitz was being such a nice guy to me, and I messed it up twice.

I was so thanful my parents were at work. I had the whole house to myself, and no one could see me cry. I threw my bag on the chair and sprinted upstairs, throwing myself on my bed. Every emotion I held for the last two weeks had now surfaced and let themselves out.

All the stress I held about my parents, Eli, and Fitz had completely left me. But everything about Fitz seemed to come back. Was he a rebound? I knew I liked him, possibly more than I liked Eli, and he obviously liked me too. So why couldn't I be happy with that?

Because of the guilt. Yes, I still felt guilty about putting Fitz through all that. It was my fault for everything.

I sighed and glanced at the clock. 4:30, my parents will be home at six, and Fitz should be out of detention. It's not like he'd call or anything, he hates me.

I felt like being a bum and changed into a pair of short shorts and a tank, then headed downstairs. I opened the fridge and found no food. I groaned, this day was just getting better and better. I walked into the living room and flung myself onto the couch. How I loved the cushiony goodness.

I buried my head in the pillow, feeling depression coming on. I don't even think I can get up if there was a fire, I had no energy.

It was almost 5 when I fell asleep, but was woken up at the sound of the doorbell. If it was Alli I was going to scream. She would start flipping out for nothing, mostly because of the recent Drew problems. He was still trying to get her back but she wouldn't even talk to him.

I stood up and sluggishly walked to the door. Whoever is was would not stop ringing the doorbell. I swung the door open, ready to scream my head at whoever was there. My jaw fell open at who was standing there.

Fitz stood with his arms crossed and looking at the ground. He quickly looked at me, "Can we talk?"

Before I could respond he walked through the door and looked around. He smiled when his eyes landed on an old picture of me. He turned to me, "I like this picture."

"It was a youth group retreat, we went to the lake and my mom wanted me to jump in so she could take it." I walked next to him, keeping my eyes on him the whole time. "Why are you here?"

"To talk." He said in the 'duh' voice.

I rolled my eyes, "Like I didn't know that."

Fitz shrugged, "Are your parents going to be mad you have a boy in the house?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestivley.

"They won't be home for another hour." I shrugged and glanced to the stairs.

He saw me looking and said, "So are you going to show your boyfriend around?"

My heart skipped a beat and I smiled, "Boyfriend?"

Fitz nodded, "Well yeah that's kind of what we have to talk about."

I kept my smile on and grabbed his hand, "So this is the living room and over there," I pointed to the left of us, "Is the kitchen."

I lead him to the back bathroom then upstairs. "This is my sister's room and my parents room." I pointed to each room and showed him the upstairs bathroom.

Fitz pointed to a door, "Your room?" He opened the door without waiting for a response. He looked around my room, nodding as if he approved. Then he went to the bed and sat down, bouncing up and down on it. He patted the bed next to him.

I sat down and stared at him, "So?"

Fitz layed back on my bed. It was nice to know he felt so comfortable. "I don't know what it is about you but everything you do drives me crazy."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Great thing. I've never felt this way about anyone before Clare. It scares me." Fitz said, sounding as suprised as I was to hear those words. He put his arms around me and pulled me on top of him.

My breath hitched in my throat and I swallowed. I had never been this close to a guy before.

"Clare." He breathed, his lips almost touching mine.

I got scared. It's not like I didn't trust Fitz but I just couldn't be this close to a guy. I got off him in a hurry and sat cross legged next to him, "So did you talk to Adam yet?"

Fitz shook his head and propped himself up on his elbows. "I haven't seen him today."

I frowned, "Well there's always tomorrow."

He smiled and put his hand on my leg. "Is this ok?"

I nodded because for once, everything was ok. That is until I heard the front door close and keys being dropped. "You have to go."

Fitz nodded and jumped up. I heard the downstairs bathroom door close and pulled Fitz out of the room and downstairs. I searched around and didn't see my mom anywhere. Fitz walked past me and opened the front door but stopped when he heard my mom.

"Clare, what is this?"

We both turned around to face her, the minute I did I regretted it.


	11. Divorce

**Hey guys, how are you? Well, I'm peachy keen. But I'd be better if there were more people that did review this. In another, oh let's see, 5 or 6 chapters there's different stuff so more reviews right now would definitely help me in the long run! And this one is short, but I really felt like putting some stuff in here with Clare's parents. Don't hate me! But please review!**

At this very minute I felt like puking. There was nothing but bile and guilt rolling around in my stomach. I knew Fitz felt it too, somehow, I made him go soft.

I had been seeing my mom cry so much lately, but this was the worst. It was my fault why she was crying.

We sat at the kitchen table, Fitz sitting right next to me while my mom was across from us. She made sure we were at least a foot apart.

"Mom for the last time we weren't doing anything." I put my head in my hands, feeling a headache come on.

"Clare I thought you knew better than this. I don't know what it is lately but you've been choosing all the wrong boys. K.C. can't even keep his hands to one girl and Eli went on a killing spree, then your onto some guy who doesn't even care for you." She went on and on, making me feel even worse.

"Mrs. Edwards I'm sorry but I do care about Clare." Fitz said, leaning forward. "I'm not like K.C. or Eli. When I have something good, I treat it good."

I smiled, that was the sweetest thing he's ever said.

"And I suppose that means sleeping with my daughter?" My mom said, venom dripping off every word. She sat back in the chair and crossed her arms, glaring daggers between me and Fitz.

"Seriously mom we didn't do anything. Like I said, we had a big fight and talked it out. I showed him the house and we were just sitting on my bed. We weren't doing anything wrong."

My mom sighed and looked to Fitz, "I think it's time for you to go home now. I need to talk to my daughter alone."

Fitz nodded and stood up, giving me a very apologetic look. I tried to smile but I just couldn't. This could very possibly be the last time I see him.

After he slammed the front door I faced my mother. "So what's really the problem?"

My mom stared at the ceiling, her eyes glossing over. "i just don't want you to get hurt like I did." She covered her mouth and wiped a few stray tears away.

I grabbed her hand, "Mom, is this about dad?"

She broke down and sobbed. I held her hand tighter and leaned closer. "Your father and I are getting a divorce."

My heart fell to my gut. "A...a divorce?" I whispered.

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "It seems the real reason he was going to work so often was because of his receptionist. Congratulations Clare, your going to be a big sister."


	12. I Love You

**I'm very proud of this chapter. Not much to say, but thanks for reading and reviewing. Review more!**

I had pretty much lost all faith in people. I had loved and trusted the ones closest to me, and got my heart broken. I'd always wanted to be a big sister, but not like this.

After the talk with my mom, she said I could see Fitz whenever I wanted. She could care less at that moment what I was doing.

My pillow was soaked from tears I had not begun to dry. There was no use, I would stop for a second, then think about the fetus that will become my sibling. It was times like these I wish I could be in Africa with Darcy.

I stared at my purple wall across the room. What would Fitz think? My family is screwed up so that must mean I am too? No, his family was screwed up too.

My laptop chimed behind me. I really didn't feel like talking to anyone. I groaned and practically crawled to my desk.

One new IM from someone I didn't know. Great, now I was being harassed about Eli. I opened it and read:

mfitzy69- hey babe are you ok?

I smiled and replied.

clare-e25- absolutely not but i guess i'll live.

mfitzy69- why what's wonrg? what happened after i left?

clare-e25- well good news is we can do whatever we want without anyone caring. bad news is my parents are getting divorced because my dad got his receptionist pregnant! yay!

mfitzy69- hang on im coming to pick you up. be ready in 10.

clare-e25- no you don't have to do that.

mfitzy69 has signed off.

Great. Now I was going to have to see him looking like this. I sighed and pushed my chair back. "I'm really starting to hate my life." I muttered under my breath.

I got up and changed into clean clothes then headed downstairs to wait for Fitz. My mom was nowhere in sight. She was probably up in her room crying. I felt so bad for leaving her like this.

I went to the kitchen and scribbled down a note saying I was studying with Alli. She didn't need to know the truth.

I seen a car pull up outside and ran to the front door and before Fitz could even get out of the car I was sitting next to him.

"Holy shit." He put his hand over his heart, "Trying to kill me?"

I shook my head. "Your the only one who hasn't hurt me yet so I wouldn't do that. So where are we going?"

He started the car and pulled away from my street. "The ravine."

"Why?" I said, slightly scared. Just because I was a little depressed right now did not mean I wanted to drink, do drugs, or have sex.

"Don't worry, no one is there."

"And how would you know?"

Fitz reached into his pocket and pulled a cell phone out. "I asked everyone and there at some party or whatever."

I nodded and took his cell phone. "Shouldn't text and drive."

Fitz looked over at me, "Really? I wasn't even doing anything."

I shrugged, "So how did you get my screen name? And find a computer?"

We pulled up to the ravine and he was right. No one was there. The fire was still going though, and have drank beer bottles littered around the logs.

"Well I went to the library and saw Adam. I apologized and got your screen name from him." Fitz shrugged and got out. I followed his lead and walked behind him to one of the logs.

"Uh huh." I mumbled and sat down next to him, thankful I wasn't wearing a skirt since the wind started blowing.

"How is your mom? I know mine was pretty broken when she found out my dad knocked up some chick at his work too." Fitz said, grabbing a stick and poking the fire with it. The heat warmed my toes.

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah, she's three and I won't have anything to do with her." Fitz shrugged like it was nothing.

I leaned my head on his shoulder, "I'm not so sure I would want anything to do with it either. It's like the spawn of Satan to me."

"Yeah but it will probably act just like you. All smart and cute and surprisingly funny." Fitz said staring at the top of my head.

"Wow thanks." I said sarcastically.

"I'm not kidding Clare. Your amazing."

"I can't believe you were the guy who was kicking everyone's butt at Degrassi." I shook my head.

"I surprise a lot of people." He stated.

"I know. That's one of the reasons why I like you." I closed my eyes, trying to remember this moment and forget all the other poisonous ones that filtered my brain.

"You don't love me?" Fitz said, hurt and somewhat confused.

"What?" I asked, acting like I didn't hear him. But I did hear him. I didn't want to say I did because he might not return the feeling.

"I think I love you Clare."

Come on Clare say something, anything. I could picture us sitting here and I said it back but if I tried, all that came out was air.

"Clare say something. Anything." Fitz pulled my face to his, attempting to read any sign.

I choked on spit. He rubbed my back gently and waited until I was done. He twisted a lock of my hair around his fingers, tickling my neck at the same time.

"I'm fine." I held up a hand and wiped the tears from my eyes.

He nodded, "Clare, what are you thinking? I know it's going to be hard for you to trust again but Clare I really think I love you. And don't just say it because I said it."

"Actually Mark, I think I love you too."

He smiled and kissed me. I placed my hand on his thigh and moved it up. He was still smiling when he put his on the hem of my shirt, slipping his fingers under. They felt so warm against my cold skin.

I opened my mouth for him, letting him taste my mouth. I moved my hand to his hoodie and slid my hands underneath everything. His skin was so soft and warm I shivered.

I gently pushed him back on the log, never breaking the kiss, and climbed on top of him. My thumb slipped under his boxers and he moaned.

"Clare." Fitz pushed me away.

I stared at him, confused and hurt. "What? Did I do something wrong?"

"As much as I would love to do this we can't. Your pissed so you think this is how your going to forget and then you'll regret it later."

I climbed off him and fixed my shirt, my shoulders sinking with every second. Maybe he was right. Even if I did love him I still wouldn't want my first to be like this. I groaned, "Since when did you become smart?"

Fitz grinned up at me, "Since I started hanging around this really smart girl. I think some of its rubbing off on me."

I stared at him. He looked unbelievably hot laying on the log like he was.

"Clare don't look at me like that. Your going to make me regret stopping you." Fitz said seriously.

I blushed and looked away, "Sorry."

Fitz sat up and wrapped his arms around me, "That's ok. I love having sexy girls stare at me."

I giggled, "Well that's nice to know."

"Come on," He said and stood up, grabbing my hands. "I should take you home before your mom calls the cops."


	13. Waiting

**I am very sorry for how short this chapter is. There will soon be some twists in this story, and I'm not quite sure if Clare is going to end up happy, just to forewarn you. But, please continue reading and please review! They do mean a lot to me!**

Friday finally came. This week has been...interesting to say the least. My mom finally got used to Mark being around, even though it's only been a day since I found out about my dad.

"Clare! Mark's here!" My mom called from downstairs. I smiled, I liked her calling him Mark instead of Fitz.

I grabbed my bag and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I pushed my hair away from my eyes and decided I looked good enough.

When I walked downstairs, my mom and Mark were talking. She looked like she didn't get any sleep.

"Hi sweetie, have fun at school. And don't be out all night ok?" My mom said.

I nodded and followed Mark out of the house.

We were halfway to school when he sighed heavily. I grabbed his hand, "What's up?"

He shook his head, "Just thinking. Don't worry."

"About last night?" I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb and he squeezed back.

"Yeah." Fitz nodded. "I don't know what would have happened if I didn't stop you. You would have regretted it and hated me probably but-"

I interupted, "So what are you saying? That we shouldn't get close to each other?"

Fitz nodded and looked at me. "That's exactly what I'm saying. I don't hink I could help myself and I really can't lose you Clare."

"Oh ok." I sank down in the seat. We pulled into a stop in the parking lot. I looked around, everyone was so happy.

"Clare look at me." He demanded. I brought my eyes to his. "Please don't hate me Clare."

I sighed, "I could never hate you. Now come on we have to get to class."

Fitz smiled and pulled me to him, kissing me sweetly. This whole seperation thing was not going to last long. He knew I loved being close to him.

I pulled back slightly, "Fitz."

He put his head on mine, "This is going to be so hard."

I nodded and kissed him again, "So then don't make it hard." I don't think he realised I wanted him as bad as he wanted me. I didn't even care about my ring or God at that moment, Fitz was special.

Fitz pushed me back and kissed me harder. I grabbed his neck and pulled him closer. He positioned himself so he was laying on top of me and in between my legs.

This was even better than at the ravine, and all we did was kiss.

I moaned when my back hit the door. He pulled away and smiled. "We can wait, or at least I can."

"Ha ha very funny. I can wait longer than you." Such a lie. I wanted him so bad.

"We'll see Miss Edwards." Fitz tapped my nose, "We will see."


	14. Walk Away

**Thank you guys for the reviews, I love reading all the feedback, even if it is 'Keep writing'. Anywho, here you go. Not much to say today, but please review!**

Because of our stupid 'stay away from each other' thing going on, I saw Fitz once today after we got to school. All he did was give me a quick kiss. No hug, or goodbye, he didn't even walk me to class. It's not like I was going to jump his bones when I saw him.

Alli noticed I was drifting off to nowhere during study hall. "Clare what is your problem?"

I shook my head, not hearing what she was saying. "What? I'm sorry what did you say?"

"I asked what your problem is. Fitz being a jerk or something?"

I shook my head, "Total opposite. Everyone thinks he's some big bad jerk but he's not. He's really sweet."

"Wow. Your actually falling for him? He's not just some rebound?" Alli asked, sounding very shocked.

"That's what I thought after what happened in the hospital but he just showed me a different side to him." I shrugged.

"Did you have sex with him or something?"

I blushed and looked to my lap. Alli gasped. "Oh my god you did!"

I shook my head, "No we didn't. But we were close. Well not really. We wanted to but he stopped us."

Alli dropped her head, "Wait what? He stopped you?"

I nodded, "I was just so upset because of my parents I needed to do something to take my mind off it. We got caught up in the moment. You know that's been happening a lot lately." I rambled on and on.

"Clare seriously. You can't just try to push the whole affair away with sex. It's kind of how the whole thing got started." Alli said. I told her what my dad did earlier today.

"Thanks a lot." I sarcastically said. She really wasn't helping much. "But Alli, when you and Johnny did it, what were you feeling right before?"

"Nauseous." She said without missing a beat. "And scared, and really really happy. I really liked Johnny and thought he was the right one. Look how that turned out."

I slumped in my seat. I really did not want to turn out like that. After all, he had an STD and Alli got all scared. I had no idea if Fitz was a virgin or not. "So I don't think I should with Fitz. What would happen if we ended up like you and Johnny? I don't think I could live with myself."

"Exactly." Alli said. She put her hand on my arm, "I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. Or the ones Jenna and KC made."

I nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about. I really didn't want to lose Fitz because of something stupid, and I didn't want him leaving me if I got pregnant.

"Well there's your boy toy now." Alli said and grabbed her bag as the bell rang.

Fitz was standing across from the classroom, talking with Owen. I followed behind Alli out of the room. She turned to me, giving a disgusted look. She really hated Owen since Vegas Night.

I half waved to her and went to Fitz. "Hey!" I said cheerily.

Owen rolled his eyes, but I let it go.

Fitz kissed my cheek, "Hey." He turned to Owen, saying goodbye.

"So um, about that deal?" I said shyly. I didn't want him to hate me for telling him it was off.

Fitz lead me to my next class, "I'm so happy you said something because honestly I can't wait that long." He slung an arm around my waist and whispered into my ear. "Your so irresistible."

"Actually, I was hoping we could wait." I talked slowly, making sure I knew this is what was right.

Fitz stopped walking, his arm falling to his side. "Are you serious? Last night and this morning you were all over me. What changed your mind?"

I shrugged. I really didn't want to tell him that since after two of my friends had problems with their sex life, I was not going to be making the third point in the triangle.

"Your such a liar." Fitz said and rolled his eyes. He stepped closer to me, "Tell me."

I shook my head. He grabbed my arms and put them around his neck, pressing our bodies closer. He put his hands on my hips.

"Tell me. I thought you loved me Clare." He pressed our foreheads together. I could smell his spicy scent, it was driving me crazy.

"Don't use that as an excuse." I whispered.

"I'm not. Clare your my first everything. Please tell me you'd do this with me?" He whispered back. Our lips were so close to touching, it would drive me into another high.

I groaned and dug my head into his chest. "I don't want things to get screwed up."

"Babe, things won't be screwed up. Am I just not good enough for you or something?" His breath tickled my ear as he talked. It made me shiver and was not helping the situation.

"Or something." I mumbled and fiddled with my abstinence ring. I didn't want to give up a promise I made to God, my parents, and myself.

"Clare I'm not stupid. I know what to do and if something ever did happen I'd be there for you." He tightened his hold on me. "You don't have to be scared."

"I'm terrified. I've already been hurt twice and I don't think I could endure it a third." I said, my voice choking a bit. Tears came to my eyes as I thought of Eli. I had thought I liked him so much that maybe it would have turned out like this. I could have been losing my virginity early to Eli, but instead I have to go through this huge complication with Fitz.

Fitz stepped back, obviously fustrated, and ran a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out.

"What?"

His eyes snapped to mine, "Why can't you forget about that asshole? He fucking hurt you and you act like I'm the one who shot him." He pointed a finger to his chest when he said 'shot'.

Tears fell as he talked. He definitely struck a nerve. How could he say something like that. "I am over him Mark-"

"What so you don't trust me?" He shouted. The few stragglers left in the school stopped and stared.

I opened my mouth to reply but he held up a hand, "Save it. I don't want your fucking pity or anything anymore. I'm done."

I couldn't do anything as I watched Fitz walk away from me. I felt my heart shattering into a million different pieces. So this is what heartbreak felt like. I was not looking forward to what was coming next.


	15. Together Again

**Sorry for the wait. Hope you guys enjoy! And please review, and read my other Degrassi story as well. Thanks! Happy thanksgiving!**

I slammed the locker door Monday at school. I could feel the vibration in the other lockers. Nothing was going right today. It was the break right before English, and my day was crap. I wanted to rip my hair out every time I saw Fitz. He had gone out of his way to prove he was over me.

Fitz has followed me to my classes with another girl on his arm. Oh, and not just any other girl. But this girl is Bianca. And boy, oh boy did Fitz know how much I disliked her.

I glanced down the hallway. Bianca had her arms wrapped around Fitz's neck and he was kissing her shoulder. I gagged when she giggled.

Fitz heard me and made eye contact. He smirked and went back to mawling Bianca's shoulder. I groaned and turned away to my next class. As I sat down in my desk my phone vibrated.

I looked over my shoulder for any teachers deciding to sneak up on me, then opened my phone.

Fitz- Nice to see you still care. Meet me outside in 2 minutes.

I sighed and snapped my phone shut. Worst scenario: Fitz laughs at me for thinking this is about us getting back together.

I grabbed my bag and practically sprinted out of the school. I slowed my steps when I saw him leaning against his car in the parking lot. I didn't want to seem too desperate.

My footsteps alerted him. He shot his head up and smiled. My heart skipped a beat, it was the same smile I've seen, the smile from Mark. Not Fitz.

I stopped in front of him. Fitz took a half step closer and brought his arms up as if he was going to hold me. He wanted to hold me, I knew it.

I stepped back slightly and looked up at him. "What do you want Fitz?"

His smile fell, "I told you it's Mark."

I scoffed, "Right now it's Mark. But Friday, that was Fitz. I'm seeing two different sides of you. I want Mark, the one I fell in love with. The nice, sweet guy who obviously would take a bullet for me. But Fitz, I want nothing to do with. He's the part of you that's a disgusting jerk and doesn't know what he wants or who he loves."

Fitz sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He stepped closer to me and held me tightly. Our bodies pressed together and my breath caught in my throat. His scent was intoxicating.

"And if it makes you feel better," He whispered into my ear. "I can wait as long as you want. As long as I'm with you."

I pulled away from him, looking deep into his eyes. "Are you drunk? High?"

His eyebrows knitted together, "No why?"

"I just could never imagine Mark Fitzgerlad saying those words to me." I shook my head, still processing his words.

"Thanks. I already told you I loved you and now your shocked that I said we can wait."

"Well you know Mark, you always suprise me." I turned and put my arm around his waist. Ever since I've been dating him, my confidence has sky rocketed.

"Really?" Mark slid an arm around my shoulders. "How else have I suprised you?"

I smiled, "You took a bullet for me. And to be honest, I thought you were going to be the one to hurt Eli and I that night."

Mark's arm fell from my shoulders. "You thought I was going to hurt you? Him, maybe. But you? I couldn't do it."

My head fell, "I'm sorry. I...I shouldn't have said that."

He tilted my chin up, "It wouldn't have mattered if you said it. You still thought it. Do you trust me now? Now that you know me?"

I smiled, "Well that depends. Are you going to break my heart again?"

Mark smiled, "Not in a million years."

I smiled. My insides twisted in knots, I was pretty sure I'm in love with him. I loved him more than KC and Eli put together.

"What? Why are you smiling?"

I blushed and hid my head in his chest. "I'm not smiling." I mumbled. I didn't think he heard me because he took a long pause, so I continued. "I'm just so happy lately." I looked up at him.

"I'm happy too. It's like for once, I'm not with a girl for sex. I'm with you because I love you." Fitz smiled when he finished talking.

"I love you too Fitz." I said using his nickname, knowing how much he hated me saying it.

He rolled his eyes but leaned down to kiss me. I met him halfway and gave him the best kiss we have ever shared.


	16. Letter

**So, this story has been amazing. The ideas just keep coming to me lately, even more than the other Flare I have. But then again, it probably is because I just love them being together. So, something happens in this chapter that will take a few chapters to play out. So please review since I love reading them, even if it is 'love it' or 'nice', it still gives me a fuzzy, warm feeling!**

I slumped onto my bed and looked around my room through watery eyes. Most of my things were in boxes, and on the floor lay one of my favorite pictures. The glass frame was broke, having shards of glass on the floor around it. The picture was of all of us from Christmas a few years ago, before Darcy left. We were all happy and smiling, something I rarely saw anymore.

My mom found an apartment only two blocks away from Mark's. He, of course, was ecstatic when he found out I would be living closer to him.

A knock at the door sprung me out of my thoughts. I dove to the floor, wiping my eyes, and picked up the bigger shards of glass. My mother opened the door, her eyes immediately going to what I was doing on the floor.

"Oh Clare." She said and set something down on my nice clean desk. She kneeled down next to me and helped me clean up the glass.

I sat back on my knees, glancing warily at the item on my desk. "Mom, what's that?"

Her eyes snapped up to meet mine, "A letter that came for you. I really don't think you should open it. It's from the Juvenile Correctional Hall. " She sighed and stood up, taking handfuls of glass with her, then dumping it into the garbage. She glanced down at the picture on the floor and sighed, before retreating out the door without another word.

I huffed and reached to the letter. Stupid Eli. Why would he send me a letter? I shrugged my shoulders and ripped the seal. Inside, the letter was only one page, front and back. Eli's handwriting looks as if it got worse over the last few weeks.

_Clare,_

_I know everything that happened between us has left a sour taste in your mouth. But I do hope you will forgive me. They are helping me here, really they are. I am over the things Fitz did to us. Adam stops by and sees me, it's nice to know someone still cares for me. He tells me how things are at school since my little stunt. I guess I deserve you not coming to see me. I just want to know what's going through your mind. Whether you miss me, or if you still care for me. I sure as hell care for you. That won't ever change. But please Clare, will you please come and see me. I want to see you, and know how you're doing. I don't care if you're just going to come and yell at me, it's something. Please._

_I love you,_

_Eli_

I couldn't breath. The letter fell through my fingertips, landing on the floor softly. My hands clenched tightly in a fist, and I opened my mouth to scream. Nothing came out. I tried so hard, I couldn't scream nor cry. I knew my feelings toward Eli was not love, but it was not hate either. If he didn't go all psycho, I wouldn't have Fitz.

I sighed and fell back onto my bed. I had no idea what to do, but something in the back of my mind told me to talk to Eli. I laughed dryly. Why would I want to talk to Eli?

After a quick fight with myself, I decided to tell Fitz. Maybe he would help. Or, he could start flipping out and screaming and go down and visit Eli himself. But Fitz always knew when I was keeping something from him.

I grabbed my cell and flipped it open, speed dialing Fitz. Finally, after seven rings, he picked up, answering with a groggy "Hello?"

"Hey! It's Clare. Can we meet up or something? I have something to show you." I said and waited for a reply. I heard shuffling on the other line and knew he was finding some clean clothes.

"Yeah, I'll be there in like five minutes. Love you."

I smiled, "Love you too, bye." He hung up as I closed my phone.

I shuffled downstairs with Eli's letter in my hands. I stared out the window until I seen Mark's car show up. I glanced around looking for my mom,, but without seeing her, I left the house.

"Hey." Mark greeted me as I got in the car and I placed a tender kiss on his lips.

"Hey. So, I got this letter today and it kind of shocked me." I said as Mark started driving away from the curb. He drove in the direction of the Dot.

"Yeah? Whose it from? Eli saying he wanted you back and he's sorry?" Mark said, with fake sympathy.

I sank down in the seat. "Well, yeah." I then read him the entire letter, and by the time we arrived at the Dot, I finished.

Mark sighed and dropped his head on the steering wheel. "You have got to be kidding me." He muttered.

I grabbed his hand, caressing the back of it with my thumb. "I'm not going to see him if it makes you feel any better."

Mark chuckled, "I hope not. You never know what kind of weapon he made in there."

"Oh you know, just the standard knife and possibly gun." I laughed.

Mark glared at me, "Ha-ha very funny. I'm never letting you go to one of those places."

I smiled and scooted closer to him, "Good, because I never want to leave you."

He returned the smile and gave me a sweet, loving kiss. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. Fitz placed his hands on my hips, letting his thumbs just barely slip under my jeans.

I have to say, I love Mark's car. The front seat had no middle console, just a straight across leather seat. Which is perfect for the making out we do everyday.

Mark pushed me down on the seat and laid on top of me. My hands found their way under his shirt and onto his back. My long fingernails did the trick as I tickled up and down his spine. He moaned into my mouth and plunged his tongue into my mouth, where it traced over my tongue and my bottom lip.

I pulled away first, gasping for air. I hugged him closer and buried my head into his shoulder. God, he smelled so good. I really did not want to go into the Dot.

"Do you want to go to my place maybe?" Mark said and wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

A nervous feeling started in the pit of my stomach and I squirmed underneath him. "I don't know."

His eyes got as big as saucers when he realized what I thought. "Oh god Clare. That's not what I meant."

A blush crept onto my cheeks and my mouth formed an 'O'.

Mark laughed and snuggled his head into the crook of my neck then whispered into my ear, "I got some new movies I thought we could watch."

"Well," I drawled the 'L' on as I look at the clock on his dash. It was only four, and we did need some quality alone time since we got back together today. "I guess I can fit you in."

Mark smiled, "Didn't know I was that unimportant."

I kissed his lips gingerly, "You have no idea how wrong you are."


	17. Marry Me

**Thank you guys for the reviews. I am considering wrapping this story up soon, maybe another five chapters or so. I'm still thinking about it though. So, please review and keep reading. I do hope you are enjoying this story. Thanks!**

I had never been in Mark's house. I'm sure everyone at school thinks his house is all messy and everything, but it's cleaner than my house. But I'm sure that's because we are in the process of moving.

"Come on," Mark said as he held his bedroom door open for me. His mom wasn't home, so I still haven't had the chance to meet her yet.

I walked into his room and glanced around. It wasn't huge, or messy. It was just a nice, simple room. In the middle was his bed, a nightstand to the left. On the right of his room was a dresser, along with a few pictures of him and his mom, and a big bookcase full of movies.

"So, what do you want to watch?" Mark asked as he came up behind me. I stood in front of the movies, reading each title. He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Hmmm. I think I want to watch something scary." I replied, dropping my head onto his.

He smiled, "You just want to cuddle with me when you get scared."

"Yeah, that too." I detatched myself from him and went to his bed, telling him he could pick which movie. I slid back on his bed, finding a comfortable position, and watched him work the DVD player.

Mark finally came next to me and slid in back of me. I rested my back on his chest and my head on his shoulder. He threw a blanket over us and kissed my forhead while the movie began.

Three hours later, I was glad Mark never let go of me then entire time. About halfway through the film, I was so scared I curled up into his chest and wouldn't open my eyes. He laughed at me then gave me an encouraging kiss.

"I am never watching that again." I pushed a curl behind my ear as I sat up and stretched. The blanket fell down around my waist and my shirt lifted ever so slightly, giving Mark a peak at my stomach.

He wiggled his eyebrows. "How about we do something else?"

I gave him a pointed look, "And I thought you said we didn't have to?"

Mark faked a sad look, "Yeah, I did say that."

I went along with his act. "Well," I lifted his chin up and looked into his eyes. "We could always do something."

Mark smiled and pushed me down on his layed beside me and took my leg, wrapping it around his waist. I gave him a quick peck on the lips and scooted closer to him. "Mark, I love you."

He nuzzled his face into my neck, "Marry me?"

I choked on air, "What?" Maybe I didn't hear him right? What else could he have said? Burry me? Oh yeah that sounds real good.

Mark pulled away and looked into my eyes, "Marry me." He stated. His eyes showed nothing but love and passion. And for some reason, that scared me.

I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. What was I supposed to say to that? I loved him with my whole being, but I'm sixteen. Too young an age to be wed, and too young an age to think about it. And with everything that has happened with my parents, whose to say Mark wouldn't do the same?

"Clare? Say something please." Mark pleaded. His hand cupped my cheek lovingly while his thumb caressed my cheek bone. He never broke eye contact, which made me squirm under his gaze.

"I'm sixteen." There, I found my voice, though it was weak.

Mark smiled slightly, "Yeah I know. We don't have to anytime soon. I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me." His hand moved from my cheek to my hand and held it tightly, bringing it close to his warm chest.

His words made me feel stupid. Of course we wouldn't get married right this second, give it maybe ten years.

"And you mean alot to me too, Mark." I smiled and momentarily forgot about his question. It was for the best if we both forgot for a while.

He gave me a small kiss, "Come one. I should probably get you home."

I groaned and shoved my head into his chest, "I am home."


	18. It's a Date

**Hmm, thanks guys for the reviews. Oh, and I just wanted you to know that if you review my story and also post a story on here, I read that. But, I'm one of those people who like to express my feelings when the story is complete. I know a few of you do have stories, and they are possibly some of my favorite. **

**I love how a lot of people are like 'I can't update since school is so hectic', I have school too. But either I don't have a huge work load or since I have like five study halls in a day I get everything done and over with. Sucks since I'm so bored at home, which is why I update all the time! So without further ado here is chapter eighteen of Something Different. Please review and enjoy!**

Three months to the day was Eli Goldsworthy's court hearing. And I am proud to say Mark and I are still together. The last three months have best the best months of my life. We haven't talked about that whole marriage thing, and have strayed from the sex fights. We still haven't done it, but I'm thinking it might be the right time.

Our three month anniversary was yesterday, and I haven't decided what I could do special for him. Well, other than he taking my virginity.

A locker slammed to the right of me, snapping me out of my thoughts and almost giving me a heart attack. I clutched my chest and looked at the random person. They gave me a dirty look and walked away. I didn't want to talk to you either then.

I sighed and grabbed my necessary books and turned around after closing my locker. Another heart attcack was brought on when I saw Mark standing behind me, smirking.

"What is it today and everyone giving me a heart attack?" I snapped at him then immediatley fell bad when his smirk fell. "Oh Mark I'm sorry. I've just been under stress lately."

Mark half smiled and gave me a quick kiss, "It's ok. Hope your not like this tonight." He grabbed my hand as we walked down the hallway together, and out the front door.

I perked up at the thought of doing something special with him, "Oh like what?"

"It's a surprise. But I'm going to drop you off at home then pick you up later at like seven." Mark held the passenger door open for me and I climbed into his car.

"Well if I told you what I wanted to give you then would you tell me what my surprise is?" I said without even thinking first. But something in my gut was telling me to take this chance and just do it.

Mark started the car and took off in the direction of my house. It took him a while to reply, and by the time he did, he pulled up to my curb.

He shut the car off and turned to me, placing his hand on the inside of my thigh. "Clare, I know what you want to give me, but I can wait."

I groaned and flopped my head onto his shoulder. "I'm ready Mark. Will you please let me do this one thing for you?"

Mark sighed and wrapped an around around my shoulder, "I want to Clare. But I don't want something to go wrong afterwards. You could leave me, and I don't want to take a chance on that." He looked down at me then continued. "So please just drop it." He then leaned over and opened the passenger door, signaling it was my time to leave.

I raised my eyebrow, but didn't ask questions. Fine, it this was how he wanted to be, I could do the same.

I scooted out of the car without a goodbye or a kiss and was about ready to slam the door when Mark spoke up.

"I'll be at your house at seven, please be ready." He pleaded and gave me a small pout.

"Don't bother." I muttered under my breath but I knew he heard me. I gave him one last look and slammed the car door then stomped to my house. I knew I was being difficult but I actually wanted to do this for him. He's been so good to me for the last three months that I wanted to return the favor.

I walked into my empty house and looked at the clock. It was only three thirty. Maybe if I made myself look really irresistible, Mark would love to take my present tonight. Thank god it was Friday. And since my parents weren't going to be home this weekend, I could stay the night at Mark's.

I flew up the stairs to get ready for tonight. My closet held no slutty clothes, or even a little revealing clothes. This is one of those times when I wished Alli was still at Degrassi. I couldn't even call her since her parents thought Alli was using her cell phone for 'inappropriate reasons', even though everyone knew she already did.

I decided on a simple, short skirt with a low cut white tee, then took the clothes into the bathroom for a nice and much needed shower.

Half hour later, I stood in front of my full length mirror attached to the back of my door. My hair looked the same as always, my bangs falling over my eyes while the rest was in tight ringlets. My shirt was pulled down a bit lower than normal, I know how he likes my regular clothes. My skirt was short, and showed off my pale thighs.

I sighed with satisfaction and looked at the clock. It was only a little after four and had three hours to kill. This was going to be a long night.


	19. Losing It Pt 1

**I really hope you guys won't hate me because of what's going to happen. That would really suck. And to the readers of Rain Is a Good Thing, I haven't forgotten the story, but I have writers block. And also, I'm probably not very good at writing about kissing and such, so if it really doesn't make sense please do tell. So, please review. I only got like two for the last chapter so I think I'm going to spice this up a bit. Anyway, happy reading and review!**

At exactly seven Mark knocked on the front door. I pushed all my nerves to the pit of my stomach and swung the door open.

He was dressed as he normally is, but with a button up shirt and dark jeans. He still had his tan boots on, but I didn't care. That's who he was. He brought a hand from behind his back and held out a single rose to me.

I blushed, this was so not like Mark. I took the rose and ushered him inside. He followed me, wordlessly, into the kitchen where I put the flower into a vase of water.

Mark stood very close to me and I could tell my outfit was taking an affect. "You look gorgeous."

I blushed again and reached up to give his a sweet, short kiss. He deepened it immediately, his tongue tracing the bottom of my lip. I slid my hands around his neck while he backed us up into the counter. His hands found my butt and I sighed into the kiss. He seemed hesitant, but continued touching me. His tongue plunged into my mouth, fighting with my tongue for dominance. My hands went from his neck to the hem of his shirt, slipping ever so slightly underneath. I unbuttoned his top shirt and threw it on the ground, then slid my hands underneath his black tee.

His warm skin felt good to my cold hands. I gently bit his bottom lip and he moaned. He lifted me up and at me on the edge of the counter, spreading my legs and stepping between them. Mark's hands then moved under the back of my shirt, pulling me even closer. After a few seconds we pulled away, breathing heavily.

I stared at Mark. He looked so hot panting like that, sweat beaded by his eyebrows and trickled down.

I opened my mouth to speak when he attacked my neck, leaving hot, wet kisses trailing from my jaw to my collarbone. I forgot what I was about to say when a moan escaped my lips. I grabbed onto his sides and pulled him closer. He smiled and tugged my shirt off my left shoulder then kissed it. He nipped the skin which made me yelp.

He pulled back, smiling. "This is why you wore that?" Mark's eyes drifted from my face down to my naked legs, then back up.

I nodded, "But I figured we'd be at your house or something." I blushed and ducked my head. I played with the hem of his shirt but refused to look up.

"Well," Mark began, "I did attempt to make us dinner if you are brave enough to eat it."

I snapped my head up, a huge grin plastered on my face. "Yeah, sure. If it hasn't run away yet."

Mark playfully glared at me, "Starve then."

I laughed knowing he would never let me starve. If I don't eat when I'm at his house, he will literally force food down my throat. "I'll eat, what did you make?"

"Spaghetti and meatballs. I know it's your favorite." Mark said sheepishly.

I giggled, "You know me so well." Mark only smiled and leaned down to kiss me, pressing his soft lips to mine. His hand found my cheek and cupped it gently. My hands went around his neck, playing with his hair.

Somehow, only a few minutes of kissing can leave me dying of a heat stroke. I was hot, and I knew he was too. I managed to push his shirt up over his abs, right underneath his chest. I pulled away from the kiss long enough to pull the shirt over his head and throw it on the floor. I was shocked that he actually let me.

Mark attacked my lips again, sucking and nibbling on the bottom one. His hand left my cheek and went underneath the front of my shirt, slowly traveling up. A strange, but amazing feeling started in the pit of my stomach when he touched my bare skin. The feeling grew more intense as his fingertips touched the bottom of my breast.

I gasped and pulled away. Mark looked shocked and scared, possibly somewhat ashamed. He took a few steps back from me and hit the island in the middle of the room. "Shit Clare, I'm sorry."

I shook my head furiously, "No, no. It's not your fault. I just don't want to do it here." I said slowly and chose my words carefully.

I held my arms out wide for him which he graciously stepped into and wrapped his arms around my waist. Mine wrapped around his torso, and I looked at him. "I am kind of hungry though."

Mark halfheartedly smiled, "Let's get some food then." He bent down and picked his shirts and fixed them on himself. I couldn't help but feel guilty when Mark still didn't cheer up. His shoulders slumped as we walked to the door, hand in hand.

I swung the door open but stood in the doorframe, blocking Mark's way. He gave me an annoyed look but I ignored it. "Mark," I placed my hands on his forearms and rubbed them softly. "I want to do this with you, just not in my house." I smiled slightly, attempting to show him I wasn't mad.

Mark sighed and grabbed my hands, "I love you, Clare." He pressed a tender kiss to my forehead and ushered me out the door.


	20. Losing It Pt 2

**Wow, so sorry about the long awaited update. This week has definitely not been my friend. As to make it up, I have made longer chapters for the upcoming ones. But I have a question that I want answered honestly, what do you guys really think about this? I mean, the whole 'this is awesome' review means a lot but what are your guys' exact thoughts? Am I not putting enough friends or family scenes into it? Too much Flare? But, anyway, please review even if it is only something short, sweet, and to the point. They still mean a lot. Hopefully, this is going to end soon, with an epilogue. No sequel unless it is going to be a separate epilogue of one or two chapters. Something along those lines, which still won't be for a while I'm hoping. Thanks for sticking around so long, and since I am rambling and you probably don't appreciate it how about you just read?**

Close to two hours later I flopped down on Mark's couch, stuffed and completely happy. Mark moved my feet and sat down, then placed my feet on his lap. I twisted around awkwardly so I could see him.

"That was so good. And you said it would run away," I teased.

Mark laughed and drew invisible patterns on my calves. "You were the one who said that. Not me."

I childishly stuck my tongue out at him, "Whatever." I swung my legs around and sat upright next to him. His hand fell onto mine, entwining our fingers.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mark asked suddenly, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen between us.

I turned to him and curled up under his arm. "Of course I do, Mark." I squeezed his inner thigh and traveled my finger up a little more. His breathing quickened as my hand kept going and stopped above his zipper.

I looked into his eyes. I was so nervous I bet he could see it. I had no idea what I was doing, but I trusted him. And for me, that was good enough.

Mark suddenly stood up and grabbed my hands. He pulled me up and brought me close to him, kissing my lips softly. I let go of his hands and wrapped them around his neck, deepening the kiss. Mark lifted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist. I gasped out of shock but only moved closer to him.

With me still wrapped around him, Mark walked us into his bedroom. He kicked the door closed with his foot and dropped us on the bed without breaking the kiss. He pulled away quickly and pulled the comforter on top of us.

I closed my eyes and waited for the returning kiss, but it never came. I cracked my eyes open to see Mark leaning above me. Before I could say anything he spoke.

"Clare, are you sure you want to do this?"

I rolled my eyes. That had to be the tenth time he's asked me tonight. "Yes Mark. I just to be with you. I love you."

He smiled, "I love you too."

0000000000

Mark collapsed on top of me, sweating and panting. He nuzzled his face into my neck, his hot breath tickling my skin. I took a deep breath and wrapped my arms around him. They stuck to his skin like glue.

"Please don't hate me," He whispered in my ear, sending a pleasant chill down my spine.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes again. I moved onto my side as Mark slid off me. He refused to look me in the eyes and it frightened me. What if he hated me?

I sighed, "I'm not going to lie. It hurt like heck, but I'm glad I got to share this with you." I blushed when he smiled and tucked my head into his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around me.

"You don't regret it?" Mark asked. His voice full of fear and shame.

I shook my head, "No." I pulled my abstinence ring off my finger and leaned over him to put in on his nightstand. "But I don't need that anymore."

He chuckled, "What are you going to tell your parents when they notice you're not wearing it?"

I grinned, "Oh you know. I had sex with this really hot boy."

Mark faked shocked. "So it wasn't me who just took your virginity? Because I sure as hell am not hot."

I smacked his arm. "Of course you are, don't say that. But in all seriousness, you need to think of a lie for me to tell my parents."

Mark groaned, "Why do I have to?"

"Because I have other things to worry about." I lied. I had nothing to worry about.

He rolled his eyes but nodded his head. "Fine."

I smiled and kissed him quickly, "And, um, can we not do this like all the time? Like only once in a while because if we keep doing it it's not going to ever be special." I rambled. I only did this when I was nervous, which didn't happen quite often.

"Yes, Clare. Only when you want to." He said and poked my nose.

"Good, and don't be telling all your friends." I warned him.

"Nah," Mark said. "I won't. I don't care about their sex lives, and they shouldn't care about mine."

I nodded contempt with that answer. Mark looked behind him at the clock which read that it was almost midnight. He looked back at me and smiled. "Tired?"

I shook my head and stifled a yawn, "Never. I can stay awake all night."

He chuckled, "Sure you will. Good night baby."

I didn't reply because I was asleep and never heard a word he said.


	21. New Mommy

**Well, thanks to the like one review I got. Seriously? I know I'm not one of those crazy 'I'll only update with a gazillion reviews' type of people. But I don't ask for much. However, it seems to me that this story is dragging on. I've got like six or so more chapters that I think I'm going to put into two or three longer ones (which is what I've done with this since it was supposed to be 2 chapters.). Then end it, and maybe go back through and make them longer. Because as I read some of everyone else's work, it's a lot better than mine. Mine drags on and on, so once I am done with this I will go through and make it better! So, please read and review. Please guys review and tell me what you honestly think. I know a lot of people don't read these things, but if you happen to be one of them, tell me what you're thinking, or if you don't want people to know, send me a message or something. Please?**

I awoke the next morning with a little soreness between my legs. It's a good thing it only hurts once. I looked to the left of me and seen Mark laying peacefully. His right arm was under my neck and his left arm covered his eyes. He looked absolutely adorable laying like that along with a small smile playing on his face.

I brought a hand to his face and caressed his cheek softy with my thumb. Mark's eyebrow twitched making me giggle. He moaned slightly and shifted to his side. "Why are you awake?"

"Oh," I said, not realizing I had woke him. "I didn't think I woke you up."

He moaned again and snuggled closer to me. "What do you want to do today?" He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled the blanket up to our chins.

I laughed, "I have to go home Mark."

Mark's head snapped up, "Your not mad at me are you?"

"I will be if you don't stop asking me that. Honestly, Mark. I am not mad at you, nor will I ever be." I assured him.

He only nodded and layed his head back down on the pillow. "When do you want to go home?"

"Hmmm, whenever you get my clothes off the floor." I said flatly. Mark glared at me but got out of bed. I averted my eyes as to not stare at his naked body. He threw my clothes on my head so I didn't see anything anyway. I mumbled a thank you and put my clothes on. Mark was already dressed in different clothes than yesterday.

He pulled me out of bed with a quick kiss and followed me out the bedroom. I turned to him quickly, "Do you have anything I can eat?"

Mark nodded and walked to the cupboard. He rummaged through for a second before pulling out a poptart. "Here, eat it on the way."

Now, call me crazy, but something about Mark's whole demeaner seemed a bit angry. He threw the poptart at me and I barely caught it. I had to run to catch up with him when he was halfway out the front door. I closed it behind me and walked with him to his car. We both got in and he sped off.

I ate my poptart quickly then turned to him, "Mark, what's wrong?"

Mark sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He kept his eyes on the road, refusing to look at me. "I just don't want you to be mad at me."

I groaned and dropped my head back on the head rest. "Are you serious? I'm sorry I needed to go home and get a shower." I said sarcastically. He was being an idiot and it was really getting on my nerves.

Mark pulled up to my curb. I looked out the window. The lawn was bare, there were no welcome signs or colorful lawn ornaments. Everything was packed and ready to go. But what really caught my eye was the unknown vehicle in the driveway. Mark noticed what I was staring at and spoke up.

"Whose is that?"

I shrugged, having no idea. "No clue. Maybe a friend of my mom's." I looked back to Mark, "And don't change the subject."

He grinned, "Never."

"Mhm, anyway. No I'm not mad at you. But I really did need to come home. I'll see you tomorrow ok?" He nodded and I gave him a quick kiss then pressed my forehead against his. "I love you. And I don't regret it."

With that, I climbed out of his car and practically skipped to the house. I was so happy and I felt glowing from last nights activities. I seen Mark drive away as I stepped into the house, closing the door behind me.

I slid my shoes off and tip-toed to the stairs.

"Clare? Hunny I'm back early." A voice said from behind me. I turned to see my dad. With another woman. "Where did you go this morning? With Mark?"

I nodded and walked into the kitchen where my dad and this mystery woman sat at the bar. The morning newspaper was open in front of them along wiht my dad's laptop.

I was glad my dad wasn't here yesterday to notice I was wearing the same clothes today. That would have been an awkward story to tell. I snapped out of my thoughts when this mystery woman cleared her throat. She wrapped one of her pale arms around my dad's and smiled at me. I think I threw up in my mouth when the sudden realisation hit me of who she was. This was my dad's mistress. The pregnant mistress.

"Clare? You ok sweetie?" My dad asked. I nodded.

Since my dad was away on business most of the time, he hadn't really packed all of his stuff. He found an apartment on the other side of town, almost a half hour away from Mark. I won't be spending hardly any of my time there.

"I'm fine. Who is she?" I asked already knowing the answer. But a name would be nice to call her by instead of home wrecker.

The woman smiled and stood up, extending her hand out for me to shake. I looked at it with distaste but seen my father give me a look. "I'm Hanna. It's nice to meet you. Your father has told me all about you."

I shook her hand quickly. I looked at her outfit, she was wearing short shorts, a tank top, and my mothers robe. Hold the phone, how the heck did she get my mother's robe?

"So Clare," Hanna said as she took her seat next to my father. "Are you excited to be a big sister?"

My eyebrows knitted together, "Why are you in my mother's robe? And dad, don't you think you've caused us enough pain? You didn't have to bring her here!" I shouted the last sentence. This was unbelievable. He was unbelievable.

My dad stood up, furious. "Clare! You do not need to disrespect us."

Beside him, Hanna touched his arm, "Hunny it's fine."

He turned to her, "No Hanna she should respect us."

I gave my father a disgusted look and turned away. I ran up the stairs, ignoring my fathers loud footsteps and annoying calls. I slammed my bedroom door and grabbed clean clothes out of one of the unpacked boxes then headed to the shower.

While the hot water cascaded down my body I could hear my dad's angry calls on the other side of the door. I think I was hanging around Mark too much because I honestly did not care about my dad at the moment.

I stepped out of the shower and did my whole routine. After a half hour, my hair looked clean and cute, and I felt a lot better in clean clothes. The pounding and yelling at my door had stopped once I was out of the shower. For that, I was grateful.

I grabbed my cell phone and texted Mark that I would be over to his house soon. I think I was right when I told him a couple months ago I was at home with him. Now with my family falling apart and my parents not there to help me through any of it, it seems Mark is the only one who has cared for me.

As I rounded the corner to Mark's house I couldn't help but shed a few tears. I had tried my best to bottle them up, but when I seen Mark sitting on the front porch looking very happy to see me, I broke down.

Mark stood up when he noticed me, a worried expression written on his face. I sulked over to him and plopped down on the cement stoop. He sat down next to me, putting a comforting arm around my shoulders. I rubbed my eyes furiously, trying to rid my mind of the image of my father with her.

"Clare? What happened?" His arm moved down to my back, moving in soothing circles. I broke down again, violent sobs shaking my whole body. I then told him about my dad and Hanna, the sobs never dying as each image opened a fresh wound in my mind.

Finally I calmed down long enough to wipe the tears from my eyes and look at Mark. He smiled sadly and continued to rub my back. "Do you want to go to your moms?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

I nodded, seeing my mom might help. But then again, it might not. I'm pretty sure she didn't want to know about my new mommy staying at the house and wearing her robe.

Mark helped me up and walked me to his car. We hopped in and he took off. Mark suddenly spoke up, "My mom wants to meet you."

My eyes grew big. I've been with Mark for three months and haven't met his mom. I didn't even think she knew about me.

He must have read my thoughts and said, "I told her about us. She asked me why I was never home anymore and I told her it's because of you. She wants to cook you dinner sometime."

I smiled. "I've always wanted to meet her. Why did you now just tell her about us?" I was very curious about that.

We pulled up to my mom's apartment complex. It was one of the nicest ones in town.

We both stepped out of the car and Mark finally replied once we reached the elevator inside the building. He pressed number four and turned to me, "Because she has two jobs and is never home. When she is, she has to sleep and gets very little time to do anything."

The elevator chimed and the doors spread open. "Oh, I'm sorry. God," I slapped my forehead as we walked down the hallway to my mom's door. "I'm the reason you never see your mom anymore."

Mark glared at me, "Don't say that. I think I'm going to get a job so she doesn't have to work so much."

I smiled and opened my mom's door. "Mom?" I called. She had to be here, the door was unlocked. Mark followed me into the kitchen, where my mother was washing dishes.

She turned around and smiled when she saw me and Mark. "Hi sweetie, Mark. What brings you guys here?"

I sat down at the island and gave a worried look to Mark. I love my mom, but sometimes she can be so dense and unaware of the world around her.

Mark sat down next to me and spoke to my mom. "Just some of your delicious cooking Mrs. Edwards."

My mom threw Mark a smile over her shoulder. "Clare, do you know your dating a flirt?"

I laughed, "No mom. He only flirts with you."

Mark gave me a cheeky grin and folded his hands on the cold marble countertop. My mom sighed and washed the last dish and put it on the drying rack. She then turned around and faced us, leaning back on the counter with her hands on either side of her.

"Clare, do you want to go back to the house and get a few of your boxes? Mark can stay and help you unpack." My mom offered with a kind voice.

I sighed, "You don't want to go to the house mom."

She suddenly gave me the look like she knew what I was saying. "Well, you do need to move boxes over here. Might as well do it today."

"Um, Mrs. Edwards," Mark began, "I can take Clare over and get a few things. I don't mind."

My mom nodded but didn't glance at us again. She looked off in the distance, her eyes never really focusing on anything. I glanced at Mark then nodded to the door. He nodded back and we both stood up and left.

As soon as Mark closed the door behind us, I couldn't help but let out a few silent tears. My emotions were flooding my body lately, and I couldn't do anything about it. It didn't help, but it made me feel even worse. The tears kept coming and I couldn't stop them. Maybe I didn't want to. All I know is I felt a new wave of emotions take over my body when I felt Mark's arms circle around my waist and drop his head on my shoulder.

I sniffled and lazily wiped my eyes of tears. "Well, let's get going. Can't keep the people waiting."

Mark chuckled softly and spun me around to face him. He smiled at my pout. "Clare, it's ok to feel something. I don't think any less of you and neither does anyone else."

I smiled at his sincerity. "How about we go to your place instead?"

Mark wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and pulled me closer. "Well, I have to say I don't hate that idea."

I grinned flirtatiously and moved my lips closer to him, barely pressing them together in a feather light kiss. "Oh I bet you don't."


	22. See It Through My Eyes

**So, here is another update. That whole embarrassing rant that happened in the last chapter was not true. This is the second to last chapter, therefore, I want lots of reviews to get the last chapter! I know it's mean but I've got a challenge: what do you think will happen? Honestly, I didn't even see it coming until I wrote it. And the last one is long, hopefully. So, please read and review. I do hope you all have liked this story, I will have more to say in the next chapter. Thanks!**

A loud slam at the door woke me up. My heart beat quickened at the thought of who it could be. What if Mark's mom walks in here and sees me naked? The thought of being kicked out and not being able to see Mark disturbed me greatly.

I looked to the left of me where Mark lay. His soft snores were utterly adorable, as was the hint of stubble on his chin. I'm going to have to let him grow that out.

I looked at the green numbers on the clock next to Mark. I must have fell asleep after our previous activates. A blush crept up my neck and stopped on my cheeks with the memories of just a few hours ago. It was late, almost seven in the evening. A sudden stomach growl reminded me the only thing I had to eat today was a pop tart, which truthfully, wasn't very nutritious.

My eyes drifted to Mark again and I jumped slightly when his eyes were staring back at me. A small smile played on his lips when I jumped and I stuck my tongue out in retaliation.

Mark rolled onto his side, facing me then looped an arm around my waist. "What do you want for dinner?"

I shrugged but then remembered about the door slamming. "Is you mom here?"

Mark awkwardly twisted his head around to see the clock then turned back to me. "No, she just left for her night shift. Don't worry, she won't see you naked." He then pulled the covers off the top half of my body, sneaking a very good peak.

I playfully smacked him and pulled the covers over my shoulders, resting them right beneath my nose. "Leftovers are fine." I replied to his previous question.

He nodded and kissed my forehead sweetly. "Is your mom or dad going to be mad that you aren't with either of them?"

I shrugged, "Beats me. I honestly don't care anymore. This whole thing has been such a huge disappointment in my life that i really don't want to think about it."

Mark sighed, "But you do need to stay with one of them tonight. As much as I love you and want you here, you need to clear some things up with your dad and be there for your mom."

I could tell by the panicky look on his face that the confusion on my face was not what the situation needed. It's kind of a downer after making love to be told to basically leave your beloved's home. This has been an awful day by far and it seems nothing is going my way. Could this possibly be God's way of karma for having sex before marriage? Now that I look back on everything that happened today, it quite possibly could be karma.

"Clare," Mark continued when I said nothing. "I'm sorry but please see my reasoning."

I sighed, however, and gave him a dirty look. "Why can't you just be here for me when I need you the most? Because honestly, you aren't. If you were, you'd let me stay the night. You'd let me stay all the time I needed to figure things out. I can't go to my house because it's not home when she is there. I can't go to my mom's because if I take one look at her all I see is her heart shattering into a million pieces as my father finds a new woman to take care of his needs. So, no Mark, I do not see your reasoning at all." I rambled on and on, but I didn't care. I sneered at him, which was very unlike me, and climbed out of his bed. I slid my clothes on without a care and stormed out of his house.

Halfway down the street realization hit me with what I had just done. Was he even going to come after me?

I glanced over my shoulder to his front porch. Mark wasn't there. I felt a sob creep up when I was halfway down the street to my mom's apartment.

Somehow, a million emotions over took me as I made the short walk to my mom's apartment. Every emotion melted into loneliness, fear, and regret. I couldn't fool myself, the regret was nagging at me. It's not like I regretted giving him something that was once so precious to myself, it was more the fact that some 'what if's' crept into my mind.

Along with the letter. That letter from Eli had sat on my nightstand after I let Mark read it. It layed untouched, but not forgotten. Something was telling me I should do something about it, although I did not know what.

By the time I reached my mother's apartment, I had decided what I wanted to do. Mark might not be happy with it, but I needed to do this. I had no idea what I was to say or how I was to act, but I guess go with the flow always works. After all, Sundays always seemed the best day to throw my heart onto the chopping block.


	23. Finale

**Alright guys, here it is. The last chapter. There might possibly be an epilogue, just to say more about what happened with the parents. I have a sequel brewing in my head, but will most likely not go with it. It all depends. I'm really contemplating a Harry Potter fanfic. I really love Blasie/Hermione and Draco/Hermione. **

**I really wanted to put more Eli drama in this, but honestly. What did you guys think of it? Did you absolutely hate it, or did you really like it? Any suggestions or anything is always welcomed. And, now that I'm done with this story, I will finally have time to work on my other Fitz/Clare story. Which I will probably be re-doing.**

**Therefore, I would like to thank the following people for reviews: **_**Yuuki Sakurai, RomFicGurl, RachRox12, CoolNerdGirl, Degrassi-lover-13.1997, krazykitten13, EclareDegrassi, anneryn7, ramen-is-my-drug, Cintiaaa-14, SuperDegrassifan1, KrumLove, GrizzlyBearLoveesYou, LikeWow5556, autredufantome, gleekster98, Brook3 XD, BlurredHorizon, Ranibow2Malfoy, jayhogartismyangel, ghettobabe510, **_**and last but not least, **_**BlueRose326.**_

**You guys have all been great, and if any of you have Flare stories, I most likely read them. Any who, please drop a review and I will be greatly appreciated. This has been fun, and hopefully I ahven't wasted your time. Thank you so much guys!**

My mom and dad stopped going to church three months ago when my mom found her apartment. I think they have both given up on God, but so haven't I.

I was dressed in my Sunday best. My mom still thinks I go to Church, when in all honesty, I haven't been since the three of us went. No, I'm going to visit Eli Goldsworthy. Someone who I haven't seen in three months.

I sighed and smoothed out the invisible wrinkles on my pastel blue skirt. I was tense and shaking from the nerves. I really wanted to run back into Mark's arm right now, wishing he'd tell me everything's going to be alright. But in truth, it's not. I have no idea what was going through my head when I called up the Juvenile Hall asking for a meeting with Eli. I had no idea what state of mind Eli was in. Whether he was still on the verge of a major (as if what he did was not major) breakdown and hold me hostage. Or if Eli was light hearted and wanted forgiveness, and I, being the good and forgiving Christian I am, will forgive him.

I heaved open the heavy iron doors of the facility and proceeded in. The place did not give off any welcoming gestures other than a 'please sign in' sign. The gray floor tiles had a slight shine to them, but were as dull as the rest of the building. No color on the walls, I noticed, as I walked up to the front desk.

Behind the tall desk and a sliding glass window, a burly cop reclined in the computer chair, sitting on hot coffee. Either he did not notice me, or rather, he did not care, I had to cough to grab his attention. And, even then he only spared me a glance as he pushed the sign in sheet towards me. God forbid he tear his eyes away from the small, portable television atop the desk.

I sent the officer an irritated look but signed the paper with my name and who I was going to visit. The officer leaned forward and pressed a small red button next to the television. The door to the right of me buzzed and the officer sat back in his chair.

"Take the hallway to the right and all the way down. The inmate will be waiting for you in the cafeteria. Please take no weapons, paraphernalia, or bags into the cafeteria. You will be asked to check all purses and bags before entry." The officer said in a very monotone voice, much like he has stated these words a million times before. He probably has.

I sent him a small smile which he did not return and followed his directions to the cafeteria. The whole minute walk down the hall had caused many problems with my body. First off, my hands were sweating so much, I think they made trails along the floor. Second, I'm pretty sure anyone in this dark, dull facility could hear my heart beat. Last, but not least, I think I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. There was no way I could breath, think, and walk at the same time. Screw multitasking, it was killing me to do one simple thing right now.

A window, much like the first I visited, was to the left of the double doors leading to the cafeteria. I walked past those double doors and to the window, pulling my purse up for the person to see.

An elderly woman sat behind the window, her hand feverously scribbling on some documents. She quickly shot me a soft smile and held up one finger to show she's just be a moment. My heart warmed at the sight of a welcoming person at the facility.

The woman looked at me and in a soft, but kind voice she spoke, "Hello dear. Are you here to check in a bag?"

I nodded and lifted my purse. She took it, scribbled something down on a clipboard, then grabbed an orange ticket. She ripped it in half and gave me one side. "This is so you get the right bag when you leave. You have one hour to visit."

I nodded and thanked the lady. She buzzed me in and I took a deep breath before entering the heavy cafeteria doors.

The sight before me nearly brought tears to my eyes. I did not see Eli right away, but other inmates with their families was heartbreaking. As I seen Eli with his back to me at a round table in the far corner, beneath the window, I took a chance to glance around at the others. Some looked as though they've lived here their whole lives. Others, sadly, looked as though one day had broken them into their lifeless, cold forms.

I mentally prepared myself for the image I was to see of Eli. I knew he would look beaten, broken, and possibly heartless, but the images were nothing compared to the real thing. He could hear my footsteps as I approached and he stood up and looked eye to eye with me.

Here was the boy I had once trusted with my life, standing before me with eyes so dull and gray, no life or color dancing within them. Eli's pale skin was pasty with a yellow tint, like dirt and grime attracted to him like a magnet. His once beautiful straight, black hair was now greasy and short. It was buzzed off and this person before me looked nothing like the Eli I once knew. The Eli I once loved.

Somehow, I had felt myself in his arms. The itchy orange jumpsuit he wore irrated my watery eyes as I held tighter onto him. It had been far too long that I had not been in his arms. It was comforting and slightly scary.

As Eli pulled away from our embrace, I managed to catch a shine in his eyes, one that had not been there before.

"Clare." Eli whispered. His voice sent chills down my spine. Shouldn't I be scared? Not thrilled by this boy's voice, or the new sparkle twinkling in his eyes. No, I don't think I was scared.

It's not as if we could strike up a conversation about how each other has been as we sat down at the round table across from each other. What was I to say? 'Hey Eli, how have you been? I've been good, lost my virginity to the guy you almost killed and now I have some questions about my feelings towards you?' Great way to start, Clare.

Thankfully, Eli spoke up first. He rested his hands on the table, folded together. "I know I shouldn't have sent that letter, Clare. I'm so sorry if it bothered you and...Fitz." Eli said, his voice dropping to a hissed whisper at Mark's name.

I sighed and folded my hands in my lap. "Yeah, it got him asking some questions. But I figured, we were friends once, maybe I can learn to forgive you."

"I haven't forgotten about you Clare. I love you, but I want to see you happy. Does he make you happy?" Eli's eyes narrowed as he questioned me, and I knew it was just the beginning. He waited a moment before speaking again, "Does he call you 'Blue Eyes' like I did? Does his kiss drive you mad like mine did? Does he respect your morals as I did?"

Eli's last question really hit home for me. "Yes, Eli, as a matter of fact he does respect me. That boy would have walked to the end of the earth for me. He does whatever I want and won't force me to do anything. It was all your fault Eli, you are the reason that you're here. Not Mark's not my fault." I hissed. My hands curling into tight fists beneath the table. So, maybe I just answered my own question. I really don't have any feelings for Eli. I'm not even sure I can forgive him.

"Does he even know your here? He probably doesn't even trust you? I know you let him read that letter." Eli somehow, was scooted closer to me than original. There was about a foot between us, and it was sending a very uneasy feeling to the pit of my stomach.

"I'm not even sure why I came here, Eli." I stated. And it was true, I had no idea why I came, but apparently he did.

"You came here, Clare, because you wanted to know if the man you once loved will be happy for you. I'm not happy for you, Clare. I wish he were dead." Eli said, his eyes becoming very dark with his last statement.

My heartbeat quickened at his words. I was starting to think it was a huge mistake coming here, and I knew I was right. I loved Mark, and not even the psychopathic Eli would change that.

I stood up from my spot at the table and began to walk away. In my head, I counted to three then spun back around. Eli was watching me, half interested and curious, but hidden behind a glare.

"I really just want to thank you. If you hadn't started all this in the first place, I would be stuck with yu. I wouldn't be with Mark. And you want to know something Eli? I love him. And I'm pretty sure I never loved you." Without a second glance, I turned around and made my way to the doors. I was buzzed through and did the same thing i had when I first arrived, although I was feeling much better about the world.

I was free of that horrible place after what seemed like eternity and made my way to Mark's. I know I've told and showed him before that I love him, but now it seems that I am certain. Nothing between Eli and I have changed. Neither has anything changed between Eli and Mark. But everything has changed between Mark and I. I was head over heels in love with him; I wanted to shout it to the world because now, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Somewhere between leaving the Hall and being lost in my thoughts I had landed on Mark's stoop. Before I knocked on the door, I had to make sure I looked alright. I pulled my compact mirror out of my purse and assured myself I looked wonderful. Somewhere along the last half hour, my self-confidence has sky rocketed. Which is always a plus.

I knocked on Mark's door and waited, then before long, the door swung open, revealing a shirtless and very sad looking Mark.

The smile fell from my face at the sight of him. Was this because of our fight?

Before i knew what was happening, Mark was holding me in his arms. I sighed with content and returned his gesture. I tilted my head so my lips were right by his ear then whispered, "Mark, what is it?"

His grip on me tightened at the sound of my voice and I knew this was something greater that what I had thought.

Mark pulled back and gazed into my eyes. "Clare, I love you." I opened my mouth to reply but he cut me off, a finger was placed over my lips. "Just please listen to me because I had this all planned out. i was waiting for you to come over and dump my sorry ass so I figured I should say something."

I giggled at his rambling, then quickly shut up by the sight of his playful glare.

"Clare, you mean the world to me. And if I'm not doing something right then please, let me know. Your the first girl I've ever wanted to be with and if I screwed that up I might as well go dig my grave." Mark sighed deeply and ran a hand over his face. His eyes were bloodshot and he was sporting heavy bags under his eyes. "I don't ever want to be without you. I really do love you Clare. So please, will you not dump me and be with me forever?" Mark then grabbed both of my hands and held them in his. He kissed my knuckles and gave me the cutest puppy dog face I'd ever seen.

Everything I had planned to say to him had ran away from my mind. The only thing that swam around in my mind was, "Yes."


End file.
